« Romantic Dinner In - and you don’t have to cook it! | Home | We’re Going on a Date to the Australian Outback (okay, Outback Steakhouse…) »
All About Date Nights: A Primer for Parents
By metropolitanmama | April 7, 2008
It is my pleasure to welcome Hogan Hilling to Metropolitan Mama this afternoon. Hilling is the author of The Modern Mom’s Guide to Dads: Ten Secrets Your Husband Won’t Tell You (Cumberland House, 2007). Hilling is the founder of Proud Dads Inc. and is the father of three sons - ages 20, 18, and 14.
Hilling’s book spells out, “what your husband really thinks about pregnancy, parenting, and marriage.” The chapters cover everything from how to get your husband involved in housework and childcare to how to reduce conflict in your marriage. Today, I asked Hilling to share specifically about “date nights.”
ME: You mention date night “rules” in your book. What are they?
HILLING:
- Make time to date. There is no excuse because you can find a relative, friend or neighbor to care for the baby. And don‘t feel guilty about relinquishing the care of the baby to another person.
- The date doesn’t have to be expensive or take up a lot of time. I recommend two hour minimum.
- No discussions about the baby and/or work related issues. The focus of the date is about you and your husband.
- Be creative and plan something he might not expect.
2. Revisit some of the places where you dated.
3. A picnic at the park, beach or in your backyard.
4. A hike in the mountains, walk in the park or beach.
5. A carnival, if one is in town.
6. A visit to a museum.
7. Breakfast at McDonalds.
8. Church without the baby or children and then breakfast.
9. A quiet time in the house while the baby is with a relative, neighbor or friend. Spend it watching a Blockbuster movie.
10. Here is a creative pot luck idea. Write up dating suggestions on post it notes, drop them in a hat and before one of your date nights draw a suggestion out of the hat.
ME: How often do you recommend that couples go on date nights and why?
HILLING: Every two weeks if possible. At least once per month so you can make dating a routine. Commit to a certain day and time. This will make it easier for you to find someone to care for the baby or child. However, it’s also good to be spontaneous every once in a while.
Now it’s YOUR turn to chime in! How often do you go on “dates” with your spouse and how do you make it happen?
WIN IT! One winner will receive The Modern Mom’s Guide to Dads: Ten Secrets Your Husband Won’t Tell You by Hogan Hilling and Jesse Jayne Rutherford. To enter, simply leave a comment on this post prior to Monday, April 14 at midnight (don’t forget to follow the rules). The winner will be announced and contacted on Tuesday, April 15. * Winner must provide a U.S. mailing address.
*UPDATE* The winner is #86 Stephanie. Congratulations!
Topics: Uncategorized, contests, marriage |
April 7th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
great contest
April 7th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
i need to know these secrets
April 7th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
I’m just dying to know what those secrets are!
April 7th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Please enter me
April 7th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Nice book
April 7th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
I would love to know my husbands secrets
I know the ones he knows these would be ones he does not even know he knows
April 7th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Well, my little girl is now 10 months old and we haven’t been on a date for at least 12 months. With 3 kids, finding a babysitter is not always easy, and I have to admit that I haven’t been feeling comfortable leaving the baby with someone yet. I would love to win this book, it will be a very interesting read!! Thanks for the give away!
April 7th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I would love to know what my husband is thinking - well some of the time anyway!
April 7th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
We could use some time out-for sure!
April 7th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
This was a fun interview, and a neat-sounding book. Sounds like the kind that would definitely spark interesting conversations with my hubby: “Honey do you REALLY think (fill in the blank)….?”
April 7th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
cool.
April 7th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
here’s my entry
April 7th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
We try to go on a date at least once a month. In addition, sometimes we’ll go to a friend’s house and play games after the kids are in bed, and that feels kind of like a date because it’s fun “adult only” time (although it’s with other people, too). I think it’s easier for us to do date nights because my sister watches the kids, and if it’s at bedtime we feel it’s a lot easier for her family (less active watching time because they’re sleeping). Plus it feels to me like a night activity is more special and romantic because we so rarely go out anywhere after dark. This sounds like a fun book; thanks!
April 7th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Boy using time out would be a priority
April 7th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I would love to read this book. I do sometimes wish I knew what my husband was really thinking. Thanks
for the giveaway!
April 7th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
I’m interested in the 10 things your husband won’t
tell you, of course.
April 7th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Thanks
April 7th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
This sounds interesting
April 7th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Very, very interesting!
April 7th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
[...] Where: Metropolitan Mama [...]
April 7th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
wow if i learned that from that short interview i can imagine what i can learn from reading the wholebook!
April 7th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
I’m ready to learn.
April 7th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
We go on “dates” once a week (sometimes more)! Granted, our dates are not nearly as exciting as any of his creative ideas. Like I mentioned to you already, we’ll often just cook a nice meal, have a glass of wine, and watch a movie curled up on the couch together in hopes that the baby doesn’t wake up to interrupt us.
We also try to get out every other week. Either by going to a movie, having dinner, or just going to a bar and talking for a few hours. It really makes such a difference!
Another great book give-a-way, and another one that even if I don’t win, I may have to make a point of looking into! Thanks for all of this great opportunities!
April 7th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Oh, and we are able to get out because my mother watches our son! Free babysitter that we trust? Can’t beat that!
April 7th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Sounds interesting!
April 7th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Hi, I honestly can’t tell you the last time my husband and I have been on a “date!” We hardly ever take time for ourselves and I am starting to feel the effects. Please enter me in your book drawing.
I really appreciate it…..Cindi
April 7th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
thank you for the contest
April 7th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Boy would this save me some time trying to figure out my husband.
April 7th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
good book
April 7th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Man, you’ve been busy..or have I? It’s Monday night and I am just barely catching up with all your posts! You are productive!
Please, anything to tell me the secrets that my hubby won’t tell should be really interesting to read!
April 7th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
I sure need reminded about the appropriate ‘marriage building’ topics of converstion. I tend to think ‘Oh goody! Time to talk about the *real* things of life’ …which are also, usually, the heart-heavy things. Well! On my date tomorrow I’ll be thinking of some creative thing to chat with my hubby about. Hmm…or maybe we won’t do much talking at all…
April 7th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
thanks… sounds interesting
April 7th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
I really need to know this..
April 7th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Great contest. Seems interesting.
April 7th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
hope I win…
April 8th, 2008 at 2:56 am
What a great prize…thanks so much…really hope to win!!!
April 8th, 2008 at 4:04 am
This sounds interesting
April 8th, 2008 at 4:28 am
good book
April 8th, 2008 at 5:00 am
I want to know the secrets!
April 8th, 2008 at 6:14 am
This book looks fabulous. Thanks for the giveaway!
April 8th, 2008 at 6:22 am
enter me!
April 8th, 2008 at 6:50 am
looks like a book for me, i need this
April 8th, 2008 at 7:07 am
Honestly, we don’t get to do dates much. My two-year-old daughter is very clingy. I’m just hoping she’ll grow out of it…
April 8th, 2008 at 7:29 am
Enter me, please.
April 8th, 2008 at 8:55 am
Sounds interesting
April 8th, 2008 at 9:34 am
We’ve really neglected this aspect of our marriage. Our dating usually consists of dinner on our anniversary and maybe valentine’s day. Sigh. I need to read this book!!
April 8th, 2008 at 10:12 am
Count me in!
April 8th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Every little bit helps.
April 8th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Awesome giveaway idea!
April 8th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
There are things my husband isn’t telling me?!?! Looks like I really need this.
April 8th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Great Sweeps !!
April 8th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
please enter me thanks
April 8th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Ah, date night!? What is that? We haven’t been out on a date since before baby was born and that was 10 months ago. I guess I really need to read this book.
April 8th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Cool book, love to read it.
April 8th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
i want this
April 8th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
I love to read. Any and everything.
April 8th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Great Contest
April 8th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
These secrets would be very interesting to know to say the least.
April 8th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
This would be a great win
April 9th, 2008 at 2:02 am
This looks like an interesting read.
April 9th, 2008 at 11:55 am
I know someone that needs this - being a husband and dad has scared him to death!!
April 9th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
I would love to win this. Maybe it would let me get closer to my husband again, like when we were dating and young, before the kids.
April 9th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
This looks interesting
April 9th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Please enter me. This looks like an interesting read.
April 9th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
What is date night? I’ve never heard of one of those.. ugg
I blogged your contest on Prize-A-Tron!
http://www.prizeatron.com
April 10th, 2008 at 12:25 am
Please enter me!
April 10th, 2008 at 9:54 am
This is one area where we’ve really dropped the ball. My husband and I used to go on a date every weekend. But since our daughter came home a year ago I think we’ve been on less that a half dozen without bringing her along. Does it count as a date if she’s with us? We’ve both agreed that we need to get back to having dates (without her) on a regular basis, so this book would definitely be a good one for us right now.
April 10th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
We rarely date. It’s sad, since my daughter goes to her grandparents’ so often, but we’re either tired or overwhelmed with housework.
April 11th, 2008 at 7:36 am
Would love this!
April 11th, 2008 at 8:46 am
just to cool
April 11th, 2008 at 11:20 am
something to help us figure out the guys what could be wrong with that
April 12th, 2008 at 8:32 am
I have no clue what guys think. I could use this book.
April 12th, 2008 at 11:28 am
would love to add this to my library for clients!!!
April 12th, 2008 at 11:47 am
enter me
April 12th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
when the kids were little, my parents watched them one night a month so we could go out. now that they’re older and we have 2 “babysitters” at home (16 & 14 yo), we go out once a week!
April 12th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
Supposedly there weren’t any secrets……hmmm…I’d love to read the book.
April 12th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Looks like a great book.
April 12th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
It sounds like this book could really help my marriage. Things haven’t been that good since the baby was born.
April 13th, 2008 at 1:22 am
April 13th, 2008 at 8:58 am
count me in
April 13th, 2008 at 11:12 am
Unfortunately, we usually only do date nights on special occasions - like our anniversary or birthday.
April 13th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Great selection
April 13th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
I’ve been married for 24 years and I just started doing the date night thing. Its more like date lunch.
April 13th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Wow, where to start. I have a 2 1/2 yr old and a 9 month old AND my husband and I have been on one date in almost one year. We recently took in a 16 year old who we are seeking legal custody of and trying to find the time to date is NOT in the cards. Having some type of guidance to help us during these months would be a godsend.
April 13th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Sounds like a great book, enter me!
April 13th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
My husband and I live in a small rural town with our four children, ages 6, 7, 11 and 18. With four kids, you may be wondering why I would need this book or even want a “date” with my husband!
My husband is on call 24 hours, so we do have issues when it comes to finding some alone time and I would absolutely love advice when it comes to getting him more involved with the care and entertainment of the kids. Whew… would I ever!
On a more serious note, there is some stress and conflict in our marriage and I think reading a book written from the male perspective could help me in understanding and dealing with these issues.
Thank you for the chance to win a copy!
April 13th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Thank you for the chance to win.
April 13th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
I would love to win this book.
April 14th, 2008 at 1:03 am
I would love to win this book. The suggestions on date nights/days are really great. My husband and I know we really need to make it a regular event- however we are shocked at how much we love each second with our little babe and don’t finding ourselves wanting a “break” yet…
(There- I did it! I commented Stephanie- sorry it took so long!)
April 14th, 2008 at 3:31 am
ty 4 the great contest!
April 14th, 2008 at 6:10 am
This seems like a helpful book. Helpful suggestions on dating. Thanks.
April 14th, 2008 at 6:18 am
Sounds like a great book!
April 14th, 2008 at 10:21 am
sounds like a good book
April 14th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
I’d love to win this….thanks!
April 14th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Wish date nights could be every night. Why not want to be treated like cinderella every night. many thanks. best of luck to all who enter the contest. SW
April 14th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Please enter me!
April 14th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Sounds like a good book!
April 14th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Please enter me into the contest. Thanks!
April 14th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Boy do I need this!
April 28th, 2008 at 3:51 am
It is very important.