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17 Intentional Acts of Kindness
By Stephanie | June 21, 2009
I wish I could become a billionaire and go around the world, obliterating poverty and injustice and disease (and maybe I’ll do that someday).
I wish I could travel the world and hand-deliver food, clothing, and medical supplies to people who are in need (and maybe I’ll do that someday).
I wish I could go to Sierra Leone, Afghanistan, Liberia, and Angola to do research and come up with a plan to decrease the infant mortality rate (and maybe I’ll do that someday).
But since I can’t do that today (or tomorrow – after all, I have a baby to nurse and a 2-year-old to protect and nurture and teach…), I’ll start with something small. I’ll begin with the basics. I’ll give my twopence for the greater good. I’ll take what little I have and I’ll multiply it by one hundred and one.
What’s on my “agenda” this week? Changing the world.
Here are 20 little ideas that anyone can do in their little corner of the world to beautify and better someone else’s life. All of these are ideas you can do with young ones around.
I think I’m going to implement several of these ideas immediately (if they aren’t already a part of our routine):
1. Smile. It’s amazing what an upside-down frown can do to drown out gloom and despair.
2. Ask how someone is and mean it. Don’t just say, “How are you?” out of habit. Say it intently and fully – and stay for an answer.
3. Notice young mothers. Pregnant moms and moms with young children typically live in this crazy kind of wonderful chaos that is completely and utterly exhausting. When you see a mom with young kids, do anything you can to help. Open a door. Offer a seat. Distract her fussy toddler in the check-out line. Carry $5 gift cards to a local coffee shop around in your wallet and hand her one and say, “It looks like you’re a great mom. I wanted to give you this so you can have a break sometime.”
4. Write a letter to an elderly family member or neighbor. Older people are often isolated due to physical ailments. Sending a letter, a postcard, or a photo is sure to energize and encourage the loneliest of hearts.
5. Acknowledge kids. Talk TO kids (“Hi Evan! Did you have fun at swimming lessons?“) instead of ABOUT kids (“What is his name again? Did he like swim lessons?“). Get at their eye level and listen to what they have to say.
6. Sponsor a child. Get involved with a non-profit organization like Compassion International or World Vision to sponsor a child in a needy country. Send letters to him/her. Study his/her country with your kids. Make it a family project.
7. Volunteer-from-home. There’s a lot of talk about working-from-home, but – if you have the means – why not volunteer from home? Offer to design a website or write an article for a non-profit. Stuff envelopes for the food bank. Plan an event for the local birth center. Coordinate a clothes swap and give the remaining apparel to charity. Think of what talents you have and then put them to good use in the community.
8. Write a thank you note. Think of someone who has brightened your life. Your 3rd grade teacher. Your high school basketball coach. Your current boss. Your always-there-for-you best friend. Send a note of appreciation.
9. Adopt a family. Call a local shelter or refugee organization – and ask if it would be possible to adopt a family. Find out the names and ages of each member of the family – and go shopping for clothes, shoes, and groceries.
10. Make a mama a meal. As I mentioned in #4, moms are weary and always needy of more time. Make a mama a meal and she’ll remember it forever. Just call up or send a text that says, “I’m bringing your family dinner tonight (or tomorrow).” Then, show up with lasagna or enchiladas and warm bread and a bottle of wine.
11. Hand deliver cupcakes. Make baked goods (cupcakes or cheesecake or chocolate-covered peanuts), package them up prettily, and deliver them to a friend or neighbor…just because.
12. Make chicken soup. If a friend has a cold or a sinus infection or the flu, make some hot chicken soup, put it in a thermos, and deliver it – along with a few packets of tea, some throat lozenges, and an ice pack.
13. Give a genuine compliment. I often THINK compliments, “Her hair is so pretty!” “He is such a talented musician.” “She is so intelligent.” “He’s such an involved father.” But I want to strive to be better about SAYING those compliments out loud.
14. Send somebody $20 in the mail. Just because. Maybe it’s that single mom who works two jobs or that pastor who is always giving to everybody else or that family with six kids who lives so frugally. Just stick a bill in an envelope, put a stamp on it, and send it.
15. Leave flowers or cookies on somebody’s desk. Your husband’s desk. A co-worker’s desk. A teacher’s desk. Pick someone, bake up something unbelievable, and then give it away.
16. Visit a nursing home with your kids. Bring animal crackers or musical instruments or just yourselves.
17. Model compassion (and talk about it). Our kids are watching us. Are we self-absorbed and materialistic and wasteful? Or are we unselfish and generous and wise stewards of our time and resources? Be who you want your kids to become…and, as you do day-to-day actions, explain why (“Grandma Jane looks like she could use some company. Let’s go talk to her!” or “We could be watching TV, but – instead – we’re baking these cookies for our neighbors. It’s wonderful to think of others, isn’t it?“).
YOUR TURN: What other ideas do you have? What do you and your children do to change the world together?
* Image via dazey chic etsy shop.
Topics: how to help a friend | 23 Comments »
June 22nd, 2009 at 3:34 am
That’s a great list. Some of those I already do, and some I’m about to try to start. I think being more intentional about acts of kindness is key…like saying how are you and meaning it.
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June 22nd, 2009 at 7:04 am
I love this list! Intentional Acts of Kindness are part of my mission for life. Here are a few things that I like to do or would like to start doing more of:
Call up a close friend to tell her that I am babysitting for the night, while she and her husband go out on a date!
Offer to watch a friend’s children while she goes to the grocery store or better yet, do her grocery shopping for her.
I love giving meaningful compliments!It is something I do without even making it a point to. My daughter compliments people all the time too and she’s only 6. A simple,”Wow, that color looks so great on you” or “You are such a great mom, your kids are so blessed to have you” can really make a person’s day!
I will agree that volunteering is a FANTASTIC way to express intentional acts of kindness. Helping others has always warmed my heart and been my passion!
This is just a beginning to a list that is really,quite endless. Thank you, Stephanie, for sparking an inner flame that should be rekindled in all of us. My hope is that all of your readers will at least take one thing from your list, and intentionally act on it this week!!
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June 22nd, 2009 at 8:13 am
I love all of these ideas and the encouragement to be intentional about kindness. I especially like to encourage other moms, like you mentioned. So often when I go out with my 3 little ones, I hear “Wow, you have your hands full!” (said in a bit of an incredulous, ‘don’t you know about birth control’ sort of way – thank you very much…NOT encouraging) But, every once in awhile someone says something really complimentary like, “Wow, what well behaved children”, or “You’re doing a good job there, mom”. And you’re so right – that brightens my day and my outlook on life like nothing else! So I love to try and pass on those kinds of encouraging words to other moms; and I loved your idea of keeping a $5 Starbucks card to give away – brilliant!
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June 22nd, 2009 at 10:01 am
What a fabulous idea! I think it’s so important to model this kind of compassionate behavior for your children. Giving gifts and expecting nothing in return is such a pleasure, too.
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June 22nd, 2009 at 11:25 am
Radomly buy someones meal at a fast food resturant! Watch someone kids for them so they can go on a date. It costs you nothing, but means a lot to them!
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June 22nd, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Ooh, I love this. . .
I took up a few things last year after New Years and have kept up with them. . .
I adopted a soldier last year (and now have two!). . . http://adoptaplatoon.org/
I started volunteering at a GREAT charity for kids and their families. It has opened my eyes to many ways that charities can use help. . . If you do arts and crafts, you could spend some time doing crafts with the kids. . . if you cook, you could donate a meal. . . have a few extra dollars at the grocery store, you can buy some toilet paper or canned goods. You don’t always have to spend a ton of money or time. . . but it’s always so appreciated.
Here’s to making our corners better places! :)
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June 22nd, 2009 at 7:06 pm
I love your ideas for acts of kindness, Stephanie. If more people would spread the love, just because, what wonderful things could happen. This reminds me of the Pay It Forward movie.
When my husband and I were both military officers, we had more money to share and give to others in need, just because. Now that the budget is significantly tighter than it was in those days, we do try to be more creative with our time and money when giving to others.
If a friend is going through a rough time, we invite ‘em over for dinner…frequently…because dinner by oneself is lonely, yet dinner among friends (with a happy and lively baby) is full of joy and life and caring.
One of my friends used to purchase itunes songs (that were valid for re-distribution), and she’d send them to a couple of her friends.
I don’t think you can go wrong with kind words (written or spoken) and sharing good food. Those things are understood universally as kindness, love, and peace.
Dr. Dolly
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June 22nd, 2009 at 8:04 pm
donate, donate, donate. i love finding that perfect someone who might benefit from things we have regardless of whether we use/need them or not. it’s the pass it on motto.
the Lord has been so good to provide. i just pray that he’ll open my eyes to ways we can bless others.
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June 22nd, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Those are all fantastic ideas! I like to offer to babysit friends kids whenever I can so they can run errands alone or have some relaxation time.
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June 23rd, 2009 at 7:23 am
I hope that it is okay that I put in my two cents on these conversations. Though my children are grown we have been a family that has instilled in them kindness to others from the time they were tiny, when they don’t feel like it. We are part of a home church group with lots of children where we also instill this concept. One thing we do is support the group Voice of the Martyrs through prayer and financially. The children have had bake sales and we read their monthly newsletters to the children.
We also support the local crisis pregnancy center through fundraisers and we get the children directly involved. Very soon the children will be walking to raise money for the center.
We are always on the lookout for things the children can be involved in, right alongside us.
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June 23rd, 2009 at 1:55 pm
This is an awesome list. Some of these are things I needed to be reminded of – after all I am that mom you mention in #4 :) – but really, even in the midst of this busy season of life I know I feel better when I reach out to others in even these small ways.
Another thing I’ve done and love to do is to pick up a bouquet of flowers and drop them off anonymously to friends or family members. I’ll stick them in an old bottle, a vase I have hanging around or a big plastic cup from the gas station down the road. Cut flowers just brighten up any home or office and they can be as inexpensive or as expensive as you’d like!
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June 23rd, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Love your acts of kindness! We always make it a point to say hello to our neighbors and bring them treats. We love to visit the King City Assisted Living. The elderly love to see the children. We give money for two meals once a month to the needy. I just want my kiddos to respect people whoever they are. Today…children lack the respect that there was a long time ago. I try to teach them to be kind and not to tease and/or talk down about people. Thank you for your list. It gives me some new ideas.
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June 23rd, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Oh, I love those ideas. I think I have done most of them in the past, but I especially like #3.
Calvin is quite fond of picking up trash when we are out and about. Maybe he learned it from me? Or maybe he just wants to be like a garbage truck! ha
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June 25th, 2009 at 10:03 am
I teach my daughter to say thank you! She is only 2 but it’s never to early to start learning how to be respectful and kind. I try to use my behavior as a model so that she can see how one should act.
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June 29th, 2009 at 6:47 am
I love your list, and we do many of those and some different ones, as well. One thing I love is that we pray for others together. Not necessarily daily, but our daughter still catches on and prays for those who are sick, the people of countries under rule of a terrible dictator, etc. It’s amazing to hear your children praying, let alone praying for other people.
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August 4th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned.
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August 18th, 2009 at 12:31 am
I absolutely love this!! and I needed the reminder, too.
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August 26th, 2009 at 1:13 am
Beautiful post! I’m so doing #2 and 14— I am always looking for inventive and fun ways to spread little joy and kindness. Your list is really terrific.
Thank you so much for sharing this!!!!
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September 9th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
Thanks for reminding me that kindness doesn’t have to start with saving the world…it can be as simple as a smile. I am really enjoying your blog!
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September 29th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Hi Stephanie – So great to meet you at Disneyland! And I love your blog. Was reading this post and thought about your suggestion to “Give a Genuine Compliment.” Well, when I met you, my first thought was “What an amazing and heartfelt smile she has!” It really made me want to get to know you. And you have a personality to match. My husband and I enjoyed hanging out with your family before Fantasmic. Hope to see you all there at the holidays!
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February 1st, 2010 at 8:08 pm
I will agree that volunteering is a FANTASTIC way to express intentional acts of kindness. Helping others has always warmed my heart and been my passion!
This is just a beginning to a list that is really,quite endless. Thank you, Stephanie, for sparking an inner flame that should be rekindled in all of us. My hope is that all of your readers will at least take one thing from your list, and intentionally act on it this week!!
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February 4th, 2010 at 10:16 am
Thanks for sharing this! It is absolutely inspiring and amazing!
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March 27th, 2010 at 3:59 pm
Hello,
I just discovered your blog via The Finer Things in Life and I want to thank you for blessing my heart today. It has been nice to sit here in your company as my soup simmers away creating an enticing aroma that will soon beckon me to whisk a roux but for now I would like to share what our family does to impact our corner of the world.
We declare Mondays – Make A Difference Monday which could mean we do something for a neighbor,bring a meal to someone, buy coffee for the guy who pumps our gas, bring cookies to the lady at the deli, or visit the beautiful souls at the nursing home. If Make a Difference Monday does not happen we make sure to Try Again Tuesday or have a Thoughtful Thursday. :) Thank you for your post and have a blessed weekend.
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