Comments on: We’ve been thinking about having another baby

By: Caryn B

Caryn B — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 04:12:53 +0000

I haven’t commented yet because I was trying to think of what I wanted to say…We’ve thought a lot about whether or not this is our second and last baby. It’s really difficult to imagine not doing this again…and in the same thought it’s difficult to imagine doing this (and I’m not even half way through yet). I’m not one that enjoys being pregnant either…but the miracle that results in worth every second of it. My husband and I feel very strongly that God has called us to adopt. We don’t know yet how that will actually evolve (when, how, from what country, etc.) and your concerns really caused me to think about issues I don’t think we really considered. But we’re not afraid…we trust that if God calls us to adopt, he’ll provide the perfect situation (even if it isn’t “perfect”)

Pregnancy is humbling…it showed (and shows me) how little control I really have (when I often like to feel like I’m in perfect control…of my body…my health…etc.) Pregnancy and birth have taught me to appreciate life….how special and miraculous it is. It’s taught me to trust beyond what I ever thought I was capable of. And ultimately to “let go and let God” not to be cliche but because we truly are not in control.

I trust completely that HE will reveal to you and your husband what that perfect plan is…in his perfect timing….

Your post (as always) was beautiful…

By: Jinxy

Jinxy — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 14:21:23 +0000

I’ve always had the same fears about adopting. Its one thing if I screw up my kid but I don’t want a prescrewed one. I think this is one of the reasons that adoptive parents put me in such awe. They really love and want those children.

By: Keyomi

Keyomi — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 16:16:43 +0000

i think u are very brave to have published it. you did what you felt right..and i like that about your blog. your thoughts are sincere..nothing artificial about it. if u dont like something in your reviews..u say it..in the nicest way! :)

about more kids..u have a lot of time..so dont worry. enjoy the time of being healthy. i feel like u do. hate the pregnancy stuff(although never personally experienced it) but cant wait to have a kid! :) pray to god to guide you. you will be just fine. you are a wonderful person!

By: Nini Lettner

Nini Lettner — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 15:05:01 +0000

Thanks for sharing a bit of your heart and mind. These are wonderful things to think about. Parenthood is a special job – exhilarating, tiring, joyful, mysterious, rewarding…the list goes on. I am the youngest of 6 kids in my immediate family and in the past two years we have added another sibling. In the 60′s my mom gave a baby up for adoption and we have recently been reunited with her. It has been a special time for all of us. You still have plenty of time for God to reveal what the next step to take will be. Thanks again for this post.

By: Summer

Summer — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 03:02:43 +0000

It’s a big decision and one that should never be taken lightly. Just like you we always pray, even over the littlest of things. Both of us want to add another child to our family, we just don’t feel it’s quite the right time yet.

By: Madeline

Madeline — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 04:12:23 +0000

Sometimes I think if I ever found a good husband I’d have babies until I couldn’t have them anymore. I loved being pregnant (except the second and third month and last few weeks). At the same time, I wonder if after number two I’d change my mind. There are days when one is overwhelming. I know I’d love to have another one someday. But, I think the number of children to have is something that a lot of couples struggle with. There are so many elements to consider and those elements change depending on the couple and the time.
Like you though, I feel pressed for time to do things. I realize that 28 isn’t old, but I feel like time is flying by. It will all be over with before I can blink, and there’s so much to do.
As it is with all things, prayer really is the only sure way to get an answer. So, I keep praying and God keeps guiding. His faithfulness is pretty awesome.

By: Dolly

Dolly — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 04:12:37 +0000

Hi Stephanie. This post resonated with me. I am totally there with you on the not liking pregnancy thing. I endured 32 weeks of heartburn (many times it induced vomiting throughout pregnancy and labor…ugh). Also, I struggle with the logistics of how I could take care of another baby and take time off from running my practice without another doctor on board for coverage. As for adoption, my husband and I have been praying about that since we were engaged almost 10 years ago. That’s still a strong desire on our hearts, yet I know I carry many of the fears that you voiced in your post. Of course, there are many hurdles to adoption…financial being the most considerable. I don’t want my son to grow up without a sibling…but I don’t know exactly when we’ll have another child in our home. I pray. Wait. And I don’t forget to enjoy the loveliness of today.

By: Danielle Miller

Danielle Miller — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 16:12:11 +0000

Thank you for posting this! We’re starting to kind of sort of try for our next baby. My husband has three kids from a prior marriage, but his ex took them away from him and has brainwashed them to hate him. We have my/our first, who is 14 months. I so love being a mommy. I also despised the whole being pregnant part. The waddling. The feeling fat. Not being able to move fast. Not being allowed to do so many things. Not being able to drink. I didn’t have a whole bunch of sickness, but I was so freaking tired the whole time. But even with all of that, at this moment, I feel like I would have twenty if my husband would agree to it! LOL. I know I would change my mind with each one. And I even had a horrible labor with my little guy. He was five weeks early, and got stuck on my pelvic bone, keeping me in hard labor for ten hours. We were two pushes away from needing a c-section.

But even with all of the difficulties, there is just so much wonder. When Dawson gets defiant about trying to crawl into tight spaces and starts bumping his head against things to get there, I tell him to stop because I worked hard to make that cute little head and he doesn’t need to be messing it up. Then I just look at him in complete awe to think that my body created a person.

I also have to think about how much I’ve changed by becoming a mommy. In my prior marriage, it was just me and my ex. We were two separate people living separate lives. Even when things had been good between us, we weren’t a real family. Having a baby changes everything. I’m still me, but I’m so much stronger. I stand up for my convictions. I make life decisions based on my family and not based on my job or what would be easiest, or most fun. I was “laid off” from my job last December because of post partum issues, combined with the fact that I was just flat out unwilling to please my boss at the expense of my family.

Having a baby has also made the rest of my family closer. My dad passed away when I was 19. After that, my mom withdrew quite a bit and didn’t do holiday things anymore, and it was hard for her to do family stuff. My brother moved across the country. Mom was distant throughout my pregnancy, but the second Dawson was born, she did a total 180. She’s been celebrating holidays again, initiating more family stuff, coming over just because, and all sorts of stuff. She told me that she wasn’t going to have baby stuff all over her house, that it was going to stay a grown up house. Yeah. She has a play pen, a baby bed, a high chair, a walker, lots of toys, and her own stash of clothes, diapers, wipes, etc.

By: Native_Momma

Native_Momma — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 09:30:33 +0000

Well, I offer no advice. You will find what your heart needs.
I did wonder though if you have thought of surrogacy while reading your post. That would perhaps be a great gift you can give someone in real need.

By: Naomi

Naomi — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 02:46:52 +0000

Sometimes I think you’re reading my mind… I am so conflicted about wanting to be “done” even though I loved being pregnant and it would be so great to see Jasper get to be a big brother. I’m 38 and I can’t imagine waiting much longer if we were going to try for another. And I can’t imagine getting pregnant anytime soon. So time is kind of running out. I think we’re probably going to stay a four-person family unless something unexpected happens.