baby #3

tim and the girls in the backyard baby #3Tim & I talk about having another baby – every day. We’re almost ready to say “go”…but not quite.

There are factors to consider. Upcoming [international] trips. A big project/secret that we’re working on like crazy. And then there’s the fact that I’m not sure I’m ready to stop nursing my 13-month-old yet. I know I could keep nursing through pregnancy (and beyond), but…if the past is any indication, I’ll probably be throwing up and losing weight for the ENTIRE first trimester. Not exactly ideal conditions for breastfeeding.

So we wait (a little longer – but not too much longer…).

We do KNOW, however, that we want to have another. From deep down in our hearts. For so many reasons.

sisters in the grass baby #3Lately, we’ve been spending time with bigger families and it confirms our desire. We can’t help but sense their happiness, their fulfillment. It seems nice to have so much noise in a house – so much laughter, so much love.

If it’s already THIS good, it can only get better…

WHAT ABOUT YOU? How did you decide how many kids to have? How did you decide the spacing between your kids?

  • http://jewelsandtreasures.blogspot.com/ Vanessa

    Your older daughter is wearing the same dress my youngest was wearing today. :)

    Anyway, kids…yes definitely 3 as we are adopting. Maybe more?? I’m not sure. I have an odd thing for only odd numbers so if we have one more biologically, we most likely will adopt again and then be done at, 5??

    Oh, I just don’t know! It’s very hard in my heart to imagine being “done”. I’m sure as a fellow mom you can understand. We do continue being mom’s forever, but to never carry in our tummies (or in my case with adoption in my heart) another baby again? Now that is hard to imagine.

    By the way, I like you throw up throughout many months of my pregnancies, yet somehow was able to still nurse my oldest while pregnant with my youngest. I’ve read before that nursing while pregnant can actually help nausea. I’m not sure, but I think it may be true as I had much less sickness this time around than the first time!

  • http://sophistishe.com Sheena @ Sophistishe

    Woman, seriously are you in my mind today? We’ve been talking about baby #2. We too would like a large family, but we kinda have some business kinks to iron out before the baby making begins. I miss breastfeeding. Jay weened at 18 months :(.

  • http://giverslog.com/ AmberLee

    i love the way you follow your heart. you are so good at it.

    i thought i had my ideal spacing all planned out, but I find, now that I’m towards the end, I want to slow it all down. however it happens though, I’m just thrilled it’s happening at all.

  • Sharon

    I think my kids decided for me that 2 was enough. I “planned” for 3 children with a 2-year gap, but when that became 2 children in 3 years it was really a blessing.

    I was in the AF and didn’t feel like I was able to spend enough time with my little ones and being a stay-at-home mom wasn’t an option. We made it work and I wouldn’t give up the experiences we had for the world, but still wonder sometimes what I missed along the way.
    Now that I’m the grandma I’m making up for lost time and trying to be there whenever possible.

  • http://www.welcometomarriedlife.com Krista

    It’s funny, even just having had a baby I’m pretty sure I don’t want to be done. My husband is kind of in the camp of “the world is overpopulated” so I don’t know how well this is going to work out though… We are both open to adoption, but I’m just not sure I’m done having my own… time will tell!
    Oh, and I totally hear you about having to plan around trips! We took a trip a year ago to Saudi Arabia (that was a year in the making) otherwise I probably would have had a baby sooner. But, in hind sight I think I’m glad we didn’t because my older son is very self sufficient and I’m not sure I would survive if he wasn’t!

  • http://www.designhermomma.com designHer Momma

    I LOVE big families and all that comes with them. The noise, the business, everything! We have 3 now, I’m sure we’re not done. I’m guessing we will end up with 4 or 5 – Lord willing of course.

    Congrats to you – it’s a big decision to say the least…

  • http://www.katydidandkid.com Kathleen

    Growing up with 4 brothers, I miss the bustle of a big family. We just have one child, though my ideal family would be 3 kids. However I’ve been trying to convince my husband just to have a second one. He’s also of the school of thought that the world is overpopulated (like Krista’s hubby above), so maybe adoption would be in the stars for us.

  • http://babystam.blogspot.com Renee

    Wow great news!!!

    Before we even got married my husband and I decided that we will let God choose the size of our family, small or big we would be content!!! We did share that the desire of a big family but ate trusting that God knows better and will give us the perfect size family :-)

    My husband as 11 sibling and I have 2, I always wanted more brothers and sister and my husband loved being surrounded but his, so I think that kinda played in the wanting a *big* family

    Spacing, well this is up to God too, I usually crave baby about 3 months after last baby is born LOL but get pregnant about 10 month after their birth. I exclusively breastfeed for the first 12 months then introduce solid after that! So i still nurse exclusively for about 2 months into pregnancy (yes puking and loosing weight and all, but I do produce lots of milk and our babies are born fine even with that really pregnancy weight loss) Both our little one self wean at about 15 months (they love food!!!)

    So far we have a spacing of 18 months in between each child (we are on baby #3 due in about 8 weeks)

  • Sarah R

    Wow, I have been thinking and talking and praying about this for several months now! I am so glad you posted this! We have a 17 month old and both my husband and I each have one sibling. My husband and his brother are just 18 months apart and they have always been best friends. My husband can’t imagine what his life would have been like if his brother hadn’t been around.

    However, my husband was never exposed to babies very much growing up (he doesn’t have cousins plus he was just a baby when his brother was born). Having our son was way more of an adjustment than he bargained for. He loves our son and is very good with him, but I think he still misses being able to go to sporting events, movies, out to eat, etc. without having to think about naptime, what our son will eat, how our son will behave, etc. Whenever our son acts up (which is not often), my husband will say, “That’s why I don’t want another.” My husband is not a selfish person, but he is having a very hard time adjusting.

    However, I really do want another child. I feel so blessed to have a happy and healthy boy, but I do feel as though our family is missing someone. I am hoping that as our son grows older, my husband will get used to the idea. That’s what I am praying for at least.

    Does anyone have any tips for me as to how to make this situation easier?

  • Christine Jensen

    My best friend growing up was part of a family of 6 children. Even though they struggled financially and didn’t have the material possessions that I enjoyed (not that I was ever well off) I noticed that they had such a fun family. They had so many siblings to play and laugh with. From the time that I was a young child, I always wanted to have a large family, mostly because of my interaction with this family.

    Then I met my husband, the youngest child in a family of 7 children. I saw a large family in a new, even more fun light. I saw a large family in the adult phase. Here was a large group of adults and their children who have each other. They help each other, laugh together, cry together.

    As far as spacing goes, I didn’t want to be having children in my later 30s. My ideal was always to have all of my children before the age of 30…and I did…I was 29 when baby #5 was born!

  • http://blog.suchthespot.com/ Darcie – Such The Spot

    It’s a good thing you’re going to have more; babies look good on you! ;)

    I knew from the time I was in 7th grade that I wanted to have four children. My reasons, back then, were skewed. And, honestly, I think that the reality of me ending up with four had a lot less to do with planning, and a lot more to do with circumstances and happenstance. Not all of my pregnancies came about in a way that I would have wanted. That said, I can’t imagine my life without each and every one of them. After each of the first three, I had a nagging feeling that I wasn’t done yet. But when Jayce came along, I just knew that my family was complete.

    You and Tim are among the most selfless, giving, intentional parents I’ve ever met. Your children (both present and those to come) are blessed indeed.

  • Michelle

    I think we will be done at 2. After seeing my parents struggle financially it really doesn’t seem right to me. (I’m one of four) I’m also nearing 40 so it would be a stretch.

  • http://www.thefamilytrifecta.com Amy

    Two is our final count. I grew up in a family of 3 and loved it, and if I hadn’t spent 16 weeks on bedrest with Ivy, if I wasn’t already 38 years old, if I didn’t work full time, if my husband could be guaranteed a boy then we would have a third. Instead puppy got to be our boy and our number 3. The puppy has shown us we are at our best with 2 :)

  • Olivia

    I grew up just having one brother and I honestly did not like it. Mainly because he and I were soooo different and never got along. I always wanted another sibling. My dad comes from a family of 10 and I see he has choices as to who to get along with! haha! We have three and are “trying” for #4. Life is crazy and sometimes I want to pull my hair out, but I have peace that our family is missing a little brother or sister. I love how my kids play together. They have each other and I take much joy in that. After my #3 child’s birth, I wasn’t sure I was able to do this again…but I know I will be able to. Mainly because I know it’s right for us.

  • http://www.culturemami.com Marcela

    I always say that if I didn’t have to work and could stay home I would have some more and even working we will probably have one more.

    Work is also the reason for spacing them apart so much, having the time for more than one toddler at a time is impossible when both of us work full time.

    So happy for you for having thoughts and happily planning with your husband.

  • Tiffany

    Joe is set with 2 – me I go back and forth. While I would LOVE to be pregnant again I do remember being uncomfortable towards the end, I don’t want to lose with weight again, I don’t want to be sleepless. Lily took a lot out on us because she was SO difficult and demanding TONS and TONS of attention. I would feel so bad because no one else in our house would get my attention and i was sleep deprived as well.

    All that being said if a mistake were to come along with I would be just fine with that!

  • Katelyn

    We are currently working on #1 (due in July). Hubby wants 2 (he grew up the younger of two.) I say now, without having experienced one yet, that I’d be good with 3 or 4 (I grew up the oldest of four.)

    I’m 5, 7, and 9 years older than my siblings. I liked being the big sister growing up especially with my little sister (the youngest), but it would have been nice to have someone closer in age to me.

    I think we’ll probably just see what our hearts say after each child. Same goes for spacing.

  • Betsy

    We have two kids three years apart. I would love more biological children, but we both feel we should adopt.

  • Dawn

    I loved reading everyone’s comments…I am still intrigued by age gaps being an only child myself until I was 18. We have 2 right now and they are 13 and 7 (almost 8). They are the best of friends…but I guess we all are. We try to foster that closeness between all of us but I do tend to think that mine are closer, with their gap because of homeschooling. We plan on having 2 more, perhaps 2 years apart. That’s the plan, we’ll see what happens! :)

  • http://vicariouschelsea.com chelsea

    My two are 22 months apart – which is just perfect for them, though I give my youngest credit for “volunteering” to come along when he did.
    It is a tough decision for sure!
    In a perfect world I’d love a slew of babies, but we have made the decision to be done at this point with our two!

  • Erica Nielsen Ford

    At the moment I have one son, and he is two years old. We always wanted to have lots of kids (and we still do) and we wanted them to be two years apart. However, God has had different plans. I have been attempting to get pregnant for two years, and it hasn’t happened. Through this I have realized, even more, that we can only plan our lives so far, but ultimately, God is in complete control. As for the size of families and spacing: I firmly believe that we should have as many children as God sees fit to give us. It is my job to raise the best children that I can. Children who love God with all of their hearts and strive to do His will in there lives. By doing this, I am adding responsible human beings to the world. When God created the earth He said, “Be fruitful and multiply”, so as Christians, we need to do just that. He didn’t say, “Be fruitful and multiply, but only to this point, or this number of kids.” He just said, “do it.” So I say in the words of Christ, and his mother, “Not my will but Yours.”

  • http://www.emergingmummy.com Sarah@EmergingMummy

    How timely – we are right in the middle of these discussions right now. I have trouble with miscarriages and we always *knew* we were going to have at least two. I only had my sister and no one in my side has more than two ever. But DH came from three and his mother is the middle child of fifteen – yes, FIFTEEN. Ironically, he was the one that felt okay with our two but I want/ed more. We’ll probably pull the goalie this summer and see what God has in mind but we’re fine either way. I would love at least three and maybe four though.

  • http://www.jinxyisms.com/ Christy

    I have always known that I was going to have two or more likely three kids (girls probably). My hubby was on a two kids max thought train when we first got together but the other day I said something about a third and he didn’t say no. I think we will play it by ear.

  • http://www.barefootchildhood.com Madeline

    Stephan has a plan (because he has a plan for everything). :) He wants 5 for sure…maybe 6. Me? I’m cool with whatever we get. Well, maybe not more than 5 or 6. I do, however, want to space them out by a couple of years. Stephan would be happy to have them back to back…not happening!

    I nursed Levi up until a couple of weeks ago. Thankfully, he quit due to a slack off in milk production, but it took him a few months to do that. It was agonizing. I was so ready for him to be through. I know that some women have an easy time nursing through pregnancy. I’m not one of those women.

    As far as being so sick during pregnancy. I know it’s a long shot that you would be sick for the same reason that I was, but I figure I’ll tell you what happened to me just in case it helps. With Levi, I lost weight during the first trimester from being horribly ill. It turned out that I was reacting to the prenatal vitamin. I figured it out a few weeks into being sick, but my doctor was stubborn and kept trying me on other vitamins. Even plain ole children’s vitamins made me sick. I finally quit taking them (against doctors orders) and felt nearly instantly better. With this one, my midwife was okay with me not taking a prenatal vitamin. She did suggest certain individual supplements. Although, I did have some morning sickness. It was in the mild to normal range. I know some women truly just have rotten morning sickness….but, just in case. Hope it helps.

  • Love Letters To Jesus

    I see you with a big family…for sure. For us, I’m am certain as one can be that we’re done. I’ve gone back and forth but for months I’ve felt peace that this is it for us. God has revealed to me so many other ways to use my compassion and love for people and I’m excited by the direction of our lives.

    Nell

  • http://www.mycup2yours.com Genny

    How exciting for you, Stephanie. And I’m curious about your big/secret project! :)

    I think it is wonderful you are planning for more kiddos. Even though Mike and I stopped at two (BTW, I loved the question you sent my way and hope to answer it in a Mom-Monday post soon), I agree… it can only get better! Kids are such precious gifts from God. I’m reading Growing Grateful Kids (a new release from Moody/Hearts at Home) and it’s funny how, the more I read about raising my kids to be grateful, the more grateful I am for them!!!

    Hugs to you,
    Genny

  • http://keepingupwiththejohnson5.blogspot.com/ kris

    I’ve always wanted three, not sure why. DH wanted two. But he wasn’t upset when number three surprised us.

    I knew that I was done at number three. I’m a c-section mama, so that helped make it an easy decision too. I’m not comfy with more than 3 sections.

  • Kris

    I came from a family with having only one sibling, my husband had 6 siblings. WE always wanted three but we didn’t have any input into the spacing. It was difficult for me to conceive so we put it in God’s hands. Truly…we just had faith that things would turn out the way they should…and in that we ended up with four healthy baby boys but it took us almost 10 years to do it. I have a 10, 7, 3 (just turned 3) and 1 year old (the one year old is actually 18 months). I won’t say the 4th was a surprise because we weren’t doing anything to prevent us from getting pregnant but the fact that it happened so FAST after our third WAS surprising considering my history.

  • Nancy S.

    Well, our spacing is all over the place. Anywhere from 22 months apart to 16 years. I’ve been pregnant 7 times and have been blessed with 4 amazing kids. We pretty much just followed God’s lead on our family size.

  • Sarah T.

    How fun, Stephanie! We had always said 4 was our number, both coming from families of 4 kids. But 3 has been a hard adjustment for us (as delightful as our Levi is!) and for awhile, we were both feeling like maybe we would be done with 3 after all. As he gets older, though, and is finally sleeping through the night, we’re thinking we’ll probably go for #4 eventually. It seems like having 4 would be better for our middle child, too, who often seems to be the odd man out.

  • Cindi

    I got married later in life, but my husband is 8 years younger than me. My two children were not easy to have and we are so happy to have two healthy children! Also, I have always felt that
    having a child to replace each of us may help
    make the world population less. Thanks, Cindi

  • http://inevergrewup.net/ Vanessa

    Oh once again I wish we lived close! We would have such fun! Ok so I am so nervous about #3 still have not decided. Also I can’t deal with teasing about secrets! Please tell soon.

  • http://rosiegirldreams.com Jeanine Ertl

    So happy to hear you guys are thinking of having more. From the sounds of your blog, you both are amazing parents who any child would be lucky to have.
    For us, I haven’t felt ‘done’ until this last one (#3 for us). A matter of fact, after both previous births, I was almost immediately craving my next child as if they were simply awaiting their arrival into our family. Now I am in baby bliss as we speak, but I simply can’t imagine going through nausea and hormonal-crazies again. I feel done at last. And somehow, three feels exactly right for us.
    Much luck on your own path.

  • Soni

    Popular post! Everybody has a comment about this…strangers in the supermarket, even, it seems to me! That said, my kids are a bit too close together. 3.5, 2 & 5 mo. My days are filled with lots of joy, yes, but there are a lot of times where I simply cannot give what I need to give because there are more babies than big kids…not that big kids don’t need their mamas, too, they DO! But ways that you can show attention are very different for obvious reasons. I love having babies so much – in fact, I’m addicted to babies & my kids (that does not mean pregnancy is blissful for me, either) I do want to have a #4 and maybe #5, but I will wait loooooooooonger this time. Instead of 19-21 mo, I will space them more like 2.25 yrs (assuming I can control this). Good luck, Steph!

  • http://ourjacobsenfamily.blogspot.com The Jacobsen Family

    We prayed and prayed and prayed! And that’s why this last one is further apart than our other 3… Hubby was ready to be done at 3, I wasn’t. Prayed more and now we’re expecting our 4th! First 2 were 18 mo apart, next are 20mo apart, and this last one will be 3 yrs younger than our 3rd. FUN! =)

  • http://semicrunchymama.wordpress.com Crystal @ Semi-Crunchy Mama

    We’re currently trying for a second child. My son’s already two, and I was hoping to already be very pregnant by now, but…as much as you think and plan, hope and pray, it’ll work out in it’s own way, in it’s own time. We had decided to wait until my son turned two before trying. Since his birth was a c-section, I wanted to wait at least 18 months before conceiving again, to increase my odds of having a VBAC.

    But all that aside…oh, the baby fever! I’m yearning to be pregnant again, to have a newborn in my arms, to make my son a big brother, to complete our family. I feel as though someone’s still missing.

  • Christine Walker

    We are done with 2, because I had my tubes tied after the 2nd C-section, but I was almost 41 when I had the 2nd, so I feel so fortunate to have the 2 I have now! Also, after the 1st baby, I thought I wanted 3, then after number 2, even though my age sort of decided for me, I am so happy with 2- for us. I know this is the perfect family size for us!

  • http://www.randommyn.blogspot.com Myndee

    Well, my husband is convinced that we are “two and through”, and since I’m 37 weeks pregnant and chasing a 19 month old around, I’m inclined to agree with him…for now. I honestly can’t say that I’m for sure done having children. For now we are, but what about in 3 years? Will we have that desire for another one, or will we still feel that our family is complete? We just don’t know yet. :)

    Good luck to you!!

  • http://www.thepixelboutique.com Nicole

    I’m so glad to hear this! You should have more because you make pretty darn cute kiddos. Maybe this time a boy!

    We always knew three was the number, for some reason. It happened quicker than I wanted at first, but now I wouldnt change a thing. There’s never a dull moment with three… ;)

  • Connie Sue

    We have four soon to be five (in 4weeks). They range in spacing from 25 to 31 months apart. God and I convinced my husband we needed #4 and then we both thought we were done, until one day when my husband asked me if we were “really” done. Did I mention I had to convince him for #4? Anyway we are both very excited about this one. I’ll never say we are completely done;) But i think 5 will be it.
    Connie Sue

  • Meghan

    We really want to leave it up to God. We natural family plan and it works great for us. We decided in the middle of October last year to try for #2 and the beginning of November I was pregnant! We would like to have some space between baby 2 and 3 but we really believe in the Lords timing

  • http://www.lettners.blogspot.com Nini Lettner

    We had always talked and dreamed of having two kids. We both come from somewhat large (well, large for this day and age I suppose) families — I am one of six and he is one of five. Of course we believe that God is in complete control of it all, but we really feel like our family is complete right now. That is not to say that it may not change down the road, but for now, we are the Letter family four. We also decided that we wanted them close together. We didn’t do any planning in this area, just went for it. Ours are just over 20 months apart and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Analise doesn’t remember life without Jameson in our family and they are becoming best friends.

    You faked me out with your post title. Each time I see a new post from you, I am eagerly awaiting the news of your 3rd little one! So looking forward to it for you. You guys are such a great family!

  • Michele

    Well we have two beautiful little girls right now, but my husband and I both would like to add more to our family whenever it feels right. As far as spacing goes, we just let Heavenly Father decide on that!

  • http://crunchygreenmom.blogspot.com Suzanne (Crunchy green Mom)

    I always wanted 12 kids. It made sense to me. I grew up in a family of 3 kids, and always felt like we were missing more of us.

    I have 6 now and one step son.

    7 kids in one house is wonderful. It is a pretty clean place (chores are mandatory). It is noisy, there is always someone to talk to, to laugh with or watch a show with.

    I love having a big family… they help my gypsy needs.. I don’t feel like wandering the world. I get it with them.

    One daughter is learning spanish (she goes off to college in August)

    One daughter is learning japanese

    My son is learning german.

    My two year old is making up her own language. (Or at least that is what I accuse her of)

    Yes… I’ve got the world at my finger tips with them!

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