![tim in a tree Tims [voluntary] pay cut](http://metropolitanmama.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/tim-in-a-tree.jpg "tim-in-a-tree")
This past winter, Tim took a voluntary pay cut at his job.
He opted to work in the office one day less per week.
He did it because he is a leader. He did it because he is a dreamer. He did it because it is what is best for our family.
He now works Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. Thus, he is off every Monday, Friday, and Saturday.
If I ended my post right there, I would get comments like, “I wish my husband could do that” or “It must be nice to have that kind of financial freedom.” So I think I need to clear a few things up.
We make less money than almost all of our friends. In fact, most of our friends make DOUBLE our income…sometimes TRIPLE. [I'm not exaggerating].
I AM grateful for our financial freedom: the freedom to be wise with our resources. We don’t have cable or Tivo or dish or Netflix. We rarely eat out. We don’t take weekly (or, even monthly…) trips to Target, the mall, or the dollar store. We don’t buy toys or lattes at Starbucks. We don’t have a huge house or a maid or magazine subscriptions. We don’t have new cars and we seldom buy new clothes.
BUT – what we do have is each other. We have walks in the neighborhood. We have hikes in the forest. We have picnics in the grass, long talks in the moonlight, and pancake breakfasts on leisurely mornings. We have dancing in the kitchen, laughing in the living room, and reading in the bed. We have opportunities to spontaneously help others and to listen to each other. We have – US.
![family at park Tims [voluntary] pay cut](http://metropolitanmama.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/family-at-park.jpg "family-at-park")
I am not sharing this because everyone should do what we did. I am simply telling you that it is GOOD to dream – it is good to take risks – it is good to let go of some things in favor of better things. It is very, very good.
How many ‘family days’ do you have per week? Have you or your husband ever turned down pay or power in the workplace in order to spend more time with your family?
![PinExt Tims [voluntary] pay cut](http://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fmetropolitanmama.net%2F2010%2F05%2Ftims-voluntary-pay-cut%2F&media=http%3A%2F%2Fmetropolitanmama.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F05%2Ftim-in-a-tree.jpg&description=Tim%26%238217%3Bs+%5Bvoluntary%5D+pay+cut "Pin It")
As you know, I recently tried to quit my job so I could be there for our kids..be able to take and pick them up from school, do things in the classroom, be home with them during the summer!! As things seem to always happen for a reason…Right after my exit interview with company I worked for…a great opportunity came up where there may be position available that is less in pay but not only is it part-time but will also be able to work from home. It was scary to take that step to just decide to quit my job, but something even better has come from that…being able to still have a job but also be able to put my kids first.
We’ve made many similar decisions as a family, but we’ve also experienced periods of long separation and sacrifice due to my husband’s military service. Our “regular” life has always looked different from that of most of our friends and neighbors. Right now DH is home 3 or 4 days and then gone for 3 or 4. It works for us because when he is home he is all here… no working from home or having something from work to preoccupy his mind. We spend most all of that time together as a whole family, and thankfully for now it works for us!
When I got pregnant with our first we made the decision for me to stay at home since most if not all of my paycheck would be going to daycare to have someone else raising our children and we didn’t want that. By me staying home my husband has to work a extra day a week but he does it willingly and without complaint. His work schedule is alot different then most. He works nights at the hospital 7-7 so he sleeps during the days but he’s up around 2-3 and thats when we have a few hours of family time and then he has 2-3 days off a week and we treasure every moment. DH is highly qualified in his position and is cross training in a bunch of different hospital units and managing a few areas without a pay raise so that we can possibly move in August to a new city where he will get a higher pay, here if he took the raise he would have to stay for another year. We live simply also but we have so many wonderful moments together as a family I wouldn’t ever trade for a paycheck!
That is awesome…US.
Our family day’s vary. Usually we have every other (I work every other) weekend together (the whole weekend). During the week I work two to 3 nights, so during the day I am always around. We make sure to have dinner together every night… no matter what.
I have been thinking more and more of working less. Ofcoarse we would have to give up many luxuries we have right now.
Thank you for writing this….gives lots to think about.
What a great thing your family is doing :-)
I was the one making the big $$$ and after getting married I quit my job to be a wife and soon after a mother.
Our income is not that big but enough to provide is a home and food and clothes (second hand) if we need some.
My husband works at the family business (his Dad’s bakery 3 days a weeks) he have very flexible hours plus the bakery is 5 minutes from here so he come over for lunch etc…
The other 3 days of the weeks he works from home (we own a small pizza shop) so he is a door away from us at anytime, and the girls LOVES working with Papa :-)
So even with working 6 days a weeks to be able to live modestly we choose to do this for our family so we could be together more often and at the same time teach our children good works ethics :-)
Thanks for sharing this with us!
My hubbie has every other Friday off and is off of work by 4:30pm everyday. Sometimes I am up before he leaves 6:30am in the morning but we rarely have a night where we are not together having supper. He goes to school one night a week and does homework but we sit side by side or he studies while I read…it’s nice. We made the commitment early on in our relationship to not spend our extra time (there is so little really) with GNO or BNO or date night. We are together, the 4 of us as much as possible…and we love it. I would love for him to have more time w/us and that’s why he is going to school, so he can change careers (not make more money) and we can have the time. :)
PS-Super cute pic! :)
Right now Stephan works two jobs. He’s a medical technician, and he works crazy hours at both jobs. One is full time and one is part. He just cut back his part time job because it was too much to be gone ALL the time. Starting next month he’ll be off for 4 1/2 days every other week. We are so excited. We have plans for him to quit his part time job (hopefully sooner rather than later). When that happens he’ll work 7 days on (12 hours a day) and then have 7 days off. That will be awesome! First we’ve both got some student loans to pay off and we’re renovating our house the debt free way which means he’s stuck with the part time job a while longer. I’ll be glad when we don’t need it anymore. Having him home for 2 weeks a month will be incredible.
Working towards that goal makes not having cable, tivo, netflix, lattes, and all the extra doodads totally worth it.
It is wonderful that You can be a SAHM and have a dad that is around so much. Your girls are very blessed!
Our family is just emerging from both of us being full-time college students to me being a SAHM and my husband working a 40hr/week job. I feel very blessed to be able to stay home and raise our daughter. We actually live where my husband works, so he comes home for lunch every day! My husband almost always is home by 4:30, so we make a point of having family dinners too.
To help make some extra $$ to pay off those pesky student loans, I work at night(9-6am) one day a week. I like my job, but most I am happy that my daughter doesn’t even know I am gone.
Another great post from MM.
My husband and I are enjoying our 3rd Sunday as a family today — he ran to the store and I decided to check my blog reader :) — but prior to this we hadn’t had a regular day off together in 5 years. We learned to work around it and to live with it, but finally we both hit a breaking point and decided we *needed* a day together. He basically told his employer he’d be leaving if he couldn’t have Sundays off.
Our costs went up and our income down because of the switch, but it is worth more than anything I could buy with that extra money.
I am a stay at home wife and will be a SAHM (1st due in 2 months.) My husband is military. He works a revolving schedule (week of days 7a-3p, week of swings noon-8p, repeat) and every other Sunday afternoon. His job is such that he cannot bring work home with him so when he’s here, he’s really here. However, military being what it is we have the potential for long separations. I was finishing school (in another city) the first two years of our marriage. This past year I’ve been extremely happy to go to sleep in the same house as my husband and be able to actually see him everyday.
We don’t make a ton of money, but we are comfortable and happy. :)
How wonderful! I wish my husband could be home more than on just the weekends, but at the same time, I am so proud of all his hard work.
Beautiful post and gorgeous family!
I feel like I am too young to stay at home. My husband is overly ambitous and I am too. I have been doing a lot of brainstorming on what to do to get off these 9-5 corporate world, so i can focus more on my child. But then, I am one of eight children and I am the first to graduate college which means, I have to take care of my siblings and parents, so is my husband too. He is the first child.
So, as much as we would like to take that bold step, we can’t. Unfortunately, we have to work at least five times a week, and bring home enough for us and our family members.
I really want to work for about five years, and then start off my own business. That’s why my husband is taking that sacrifice of getting the leadership and management opportunities of the military as an Army Officer. Once he finishes his contract of 3 years, he plans on starting his own business.
I love that picture of Tim, you are a lucky woman to have such a wonderful husband and father for your kids.
I agree! I would turn down pay any day in order to be together. I care very little for things and a lot for time together and memories. The less I have the more content I find I am.
I love your post.
We were never rich, but my paycheck was larger than my husband’s when it was just the two of us and now (out of our choice) I bring in only a fraction of that. Finances are definitely tight, but the payoff is huge. I am home with my little one all day, every day, and I work when I want and how much or little I want. I am truly free to be a mom first and to give my child the parental attention we believe is critical to his growth, character, and development. My son and I have so much fun together, and I love teaching him new things every day and watching him flourish. We also love getting together with other people (adults and kids) and would not have this freedom if I wasn’t home. My current work situation is ideal and I feel blessed, although that does not mean working from home, often late into the night, is easy. I am always tired (but happy). And like you, we drive older cars with no payments, we have a smaller house (less to clean!), rarely eat out, don’t do cable, tivo, or netflix–pretty much everything you mentioned. I would never want to bring in more money just so we could spend more or live more “luxuriously.” We need our basic needs met, but other than that our priority is that our child(ren) are raised by us, not day care or a babysitter or even extended family [this is what works for our family, not everyone--and these things might have their place, just more as the exception than the norm for us], and that we are together and having fun often as a family. My husband does work six days a week out of necessity, and I pretty much work seven days, even though it is part-time, so we don’t always have a “family day” every week, but I do feel that we have lots of family time regardless and we still feel the payoff is worth it.
Sorry my comments are always so long! Your posts just strike at a lot of what I’m passionate about.
I think it is wonderful that you both make family a priority. It seems as if we forget that one more day as a family a week is priceless.
We’re getting ready to transition into a more satisfying schedule with me at home full time. It is amazing how much slips through the cracks with me working.
Family is a gift and time is a valuable resource!
We live like that too. Tight budget, but lots of family fun. It’s worth it.
I chose to quit my job and move to Guatemala to foster Sabrina until her adoption was final. Then I chose not to return to work and to stay home with our girls until they start school. When my husband was looking for jobs, he looked only at those that wouldn’t require travel and that would allow him to be home every evening to have dinner with us and put the girls to bed. We see jobs as a means to finance the rest of our lives together.
We are very fortunate to spend more time with our kids than most of our peers since Bob works from home. We might not make a lot of money but I think it’s so important for the kids to have our time right now, while they’re so young. I will probably go back to work once Jasper is in school full time but for now this is good for us.
You are a very lucky family!
We are on the other side unfortunately. My husband works ALL THE TIME because he is driven by the $$. He travels most days of the week and when he is home he is attached to his phone/computer.
It drives me crazy and is a constant source of stress. Yes, his income is great but he is missing out on US. :(
I just love this picture of your family!
Ah… refreshing to read about another family who knows the best things in life aren’t THINGS. :) We don’t get the extra day during the week, but we do get summers (hubby is a teacher). He farms during the summer, but that is often a family affair.
I think that’s wonderful that Tim decided to take a day out of his work week. Nason and I are trying something like that this summer-he is flexing at his job, which means very long days but a day off in the middle of the week, and I took that same day off of my weekly schedule. So, starting next week we’ll have a day off together. I’m so excited!
Love this post Stephanie! I quit my full time, work from home job when my firstborn was 9 months old. While I was able to work from home, I was just missing out on so much with her. I was bringing in more money at the time, so it has been a HUGE financial adjustment for our family, yet I wouldn’t change it for the world. When I start to get anxious about finances (which unfortunately is quite often) I am reminded of our many blessings, and how rich we REALLY are. God has an amazing way of providing us with all that we NEED. Thankfully, even when we were both working, my husband and I have always had lots of time together. He is typically home by 4:30pm each day and we spend the afternoon and evening together with the kids and after 7:00 or 7:30pm we have the evening to ourselves. We are so fortunate to have so much time together!
We’ve both absolutely turned down pay raises in order to have a life. These are decisions we made even before we were married and had our son. Life has a way of really passing by quickly if you are so busy at work! Plus, what good is a big house and nice car if you can’t enjoy them because you’re always at work?? I work from home 2 days/week but I am able to do my work around my son’s schedule, so when he is awake I am with him. We can also go to the park, the lake, etc. I work in the office 3 days/week. My husband has a typical Monday-Friday job. We work in family time in the mornings before we leave (usually about an hour) and have at least 3-4 hours after work for family time, plus our weekends. We do not leave our son with anyone on the weekends and we are very adamant about leaving work at a normal time.
Contrary to what Commenters #3 and #5 alluded, I am still a mother and a wife even though I do have outside employment. No one else is “raising my children.” I am very happy for people who can be SAHM but please remember that everyone’s situation is different and assuming that because someone uses a child care provider doesn’t mean that they are not raising their children.
We live almost exactly the same way! We moved back to Arizona from Chicago (and away from our dream of living in Charleston with my family) to a job that could provide us more family time. People ask us what our hobby is- it’s each other. We would rather live without many things, and just have each other. We would rather have date nights in, then spend all our money on a movie out. We don’t have cable, or phone, or new things. If I get a shopping “itch”, I go to garage sales with my kids and my grandma- and maybe spend 5 dollars :). We had major financial devastation the last few years, and have learned to live with so much less, and guess what? We like it. We like not being such big consumers, having a more simple life. It’s made us better spouses, and better parents, and better people. So glad you and your kids get all that time with your hubby!
Money in our house is super tight. Too tight to even want to talk about. I was at a friend’s house last night and she said, man, if you and Joe can make it through this you can deal with anything. One thing Joe and I say, we may not have any money and the idea of foreclosure is always in the back of our minds BUT we have love and we love each other and our little girls. There will always be love in our house.
We definitely have limits on work time. I’m glad my husband’s job doesn’t ask him to work crazy hours. He is always on call, due to his responsibilities to keep the computer network running at his company, but he is able to use comp time if he has to go in on weekends or evenings, and that happens rarely.
We have a lot of extras, but we also choose to drive old cars and only pay for basic cable and other things that allow us freedom to have, for example, a housekeeper, who I hired when my blog design business started earning enough to pay her.
I think it’s good to keep a healthy balance between work and family life.
And as an aside, you always present your life so happy and serene. I’d love to hear what an argument with your husband looks like, or if you ever lose your temper with one of the girls — only if you’re comfortable sharing, of course. :-)
Beautiful family pics!
Our family time is varied. I work regular hours and my husband works less traditional ones – many evenings and most weekends. For now, we do the best we can. We are in a situation where, if either of us made any less, we would be in a lot of financial trouble.
Some weeks we have dinners together nightly, other weeks it is just me and the kids more often. It is tough, but we make the most of the time we have.
Wow. You have totally convicted me right now. Thank you.
We did choose for me to work from home and give up my nice salary when we started having kids 4 years ago, but I admit we haven’t quite given up the want for things. Honestly, we just complain about it more now! :)
With lots of new medical expenses in our future, I admit my heart has been heavy with how we will do it, but I really think it will just me re-evaluating our “needs/wants.” Not sure how easy it will be to get my hubby on the same page, but this post really hit home for me. Thank you!
I took a voluntary cut in hours (actually it was my idea) in February 2009. The place I was working at was VERY slow and my bosses were having to pull money out of their pockets to pay me every 2 weeks. I crunched the numbers and I was able to work Mon-Fri 9am to 2:30pm. I took a serious cut in pay. Keep in mind I am the ONLY breadwinner in my family. Now I can drop my kids off at school and pick them up everyday!
I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and as a result hubby has to do a lot extra around the house (he’s fabulous).
I’m sure there are jobs that he’s missed out on getting, because he always tells people in an interview that his first priority is his family.
Kind of sad that businesses don’t understand or appreciate that, isn’t it?
Thank you for this post :).
I agree with Musings of a Housewife, I would like to know how you handle stress as well. Many times I want to vent on my blog, without a happy ending, but without coming off as Debby downer. So I just keep it to myself, although the tagline of my blog suggests keeping it real.
Yes, it is good when you live your deepest values in life! How wonderful that you and your husband can treasure the kind of time you have together!!
You have everything you need. And I know it sounds cliche but it’s true… you can’t take *stuff* to Heaven with you. None of that stuff will matter. Only how you treated people here, the love you created, how you served God will matter.
And you never ever hear anyone on their death bed talking about how they’ll miss that huge house they worked so hard for, or how they will miss wearing their designer jeans.
It’s always about the family and friends they’ll be leaving behind. ALWAYS. And if it isn’t… man, that person missed out and must be terribly lonely.
I love that picture of your family. And the fact that your husband is willing to do silly pictures, pose in pictures…etc… is awesome. My husband is the same way.
Nell
I would love to be able to do what your family has done, sadly it really isn’t possible. We live in an expensive area of the country. (all of our extended family is here too.) But we do take time after work to go to the park and to enjoy each other. I think you are very lucky and I am sure you know it.
you are very blessed to be able to have Tim stay work less to spend more time with you and the girls. I would love to get to stay home and have Scott able to work less too, but we made different choices early one. We agreed that when Scott’s paycheck is equal to what both of us were making when we got married(combined), then I would be able to quit. We haven’t reached that point yet. Once we do get to that point, I’ll most likely try and do something from home, because both girls will be in school.
another approach that my brother took, was to work really really hard on his career so that they could retire early on and then do something as a family that they could all enjoy. my brother was on the road 75% of the time and when he was home, he had a lot of work with church and still managed to play with the boys. Now, he works 3 days a week (usually traveling) but the rest of the time, he’s at home.
It is so hard trying to find the balance and make sure that the family always wins.
We’re with ya. My husband has a job (for less pay) where he works four longer days a week. We love having him home the extra day!! We have four children and one more coming Friday.
We do without some things so we can do more with the things and people we love!
Connie Sue
I have to admit, before kids we were the people that bought lattes at the coffee shop, shopped at Target ALL THE TIME,bought a new outfit for even the smallest gathering and didn’t bat an eyelash at a $100+ bill from a restaurant. But then I had my first baby and decided to stay home. So we cut back. WAAAAAY back. And it feels so good. So much more free-ing than having “enough” money. We hardly ever do any extras but when we do we make sure the extras feel really, really special. When we get invited to do expensive things I just smile and say, “We can’t really afford that right now but it sounds like fun!” No regrets.
I’m glad to see that the way the economy is right now is actually helping you and your family spend more time together. (and worry less about money)
me on the other hand… not so much. My husband and I never had to worry about money, we could shop as we pleased, had every bill paid weeks in advance, kids got waht they wanted. Then, last September he decided to quite his job to work for his dad and spend more time with the family. Sure having him home was amazing and just what the kids needed, but money became so tight that it was depressing. We had more bills due then money coming in. He hounded me for spending too much time online and that my blog took my time up and didn’t get anything in return…. he just recently had to tell his dad he couldn’t work for him anymore because he needed more money. so now he is back to working 6 days a week all day long.. 9am to 10pm… no more family time, no more daddy tucking his babies into bed, no more family dinners.. it sucks!!! money sucks!!
at least I got myself a summer job to help get us out of debt.
Stephanie your lucky, but we can’t all live like that. (Especially if you live in California)
I so appreciated this post – it reminds me afresh what a great blessing it is to stay at home for my family. I am writing an entry about this for my blog right now! :) As a new mom, I am not returning to the workforce but opting to stay home with our baby. This obviously would “cramp” some people’s style, but for my husband and I, it means that our baby gets a full-time parent, and my hubbie does not have to de-stress me when I get home from work, so we can ENJOY our time together!! We try to have a family time at least once each weekend, and one weeknight. But of course, any time we are all together is family time! :) What a great post!
How wonderful and free you all must feel. I’m slowly but surely working on hubby to do the same. Cut back on things we just don’t need. Shhh…don’t tell him ;)
I have a 4 day work week and it is by far my favorite and most treasured benefit at my job. It has changed my quality of life dramatically.
Conversely, my husband just lost his 4 day work week and has gone back to a 5 day work week. He is devastated about it, because 1 day each work week he was getting to be a stay at home dad.