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4 things to do INSTEAD of saying, “Can I do anything to help?”

September 11, 2010 By 34 Comments

the rain came down 4 things to do INSTEAD of saying, Can I do anything to help?What do you do when a friend is in a tough spot? (Miscarriage. Morning Sickness. Military deployment. Lost job. Recovering from new baby. Death in the family. Bad day. Etc.)

If you are like most people, you will call up or send a text or write on his/her facebook wall, “Let me know if I can do anything to help.”

If you’re a little more action-oriented, you’ll say, “Can I do anything to help?“

Your friend replies, “Will do” or “I’ll let you know.” But then – they DON’T. Because it’s tough to ask for specific help when you’re hurting, in part because you don’t even know what to ask for.

Someone once said to me, “If you ever find yourself in a situation where you don’t know what to do to help someone, do SOMETHING.” I’ve been trying to get better about this.

Here are four fail-safe ways to bring some sunshine to a friend’s rainy spirits -

monotone fork spoon eat launch restaurant dinner 4 things to do INSTEAD of saying, Can I do anything to help?1. Deliver a meal. I am convinced that food is a relationship-builder and a wound-healer. How many illnesses and frustrations have been cured by a happy dinner table or a delicious dessert? Many. Drop by with a tray of chicken enchiladas, a pot of spaghetti and some bread sticks, or a hearty vegetable lasagna. If you don’t have the time to make from scratch, there’s no shame at all in ordering take-out or stopping in at a meal prep place. If you don’t have the budget to do a whole meal, bring 1 simple dish (pasta salad, a basket of fruit, or a loaf of bread).

envelope sketch 4 things to do INSTEAD of saying, Can I do anything to help?2. Write a note. Pick up a funny, sentimental, musical, or giant card (Have you seen those? So cool!) at Hallmark. Or make one yourself. Not sure what to say? How about “I’m thinking of you,” paired with a genuine compliment or a warm wish. You don’t have to be poetic. Just put a stamp on it and send your heart.

Comments 4 things to do INSTEAD of saying, Can I do anything to help?3. Just say it. Speaking of compliments, never underestimate the power of words. I know I’ve had entire days ruined by mean words. On the flip side, I’ve had entire days brightened by a single sentence. Mother Teresa’s quote is truer than true, ”kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

box3 4 things to do INSTEAD of saying, Can I do anything to help?4. Give a [small] gift. No need to spend a lot of money. Even the tiniest thing will show you care. A box of homemade cookies. A chocolate bar. A packet of seeds. A necklace charm. A bunch of wild flowers. A pair of slippers. A stationary set. A hardbound journal. Anything will do.

On a related note: I’ve been working on a rockin’ gift guide over at Give Every Day. It’s not even close to being done yet, but you’re welcome to take a peek. The ideas are all unique and often handmade. You can search by recipient or occasion. Let me know what you think…

What do you do when a friend is in a tough spot? What meals do you think are the easiest to make and/or deliver?

Filed Under: Philanthropy Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Four

September 9, 2010 By 34 Comments

age four serious flower in her hair FourCan it be that you – my rosy-cheeked baby with the long lashes and rose-petal lips – are four?

Four seems perfectly ancient. You are so serious now, so wise, so angelically beautiful, so delightfully good. You no longer have the baby cheeks, the tiny voice.

You have blonde curly locks, falling around your face in perfect formation. Your penetrating blue eyes can be scalding or scintillating, depending on your mood. Your agile limbs are long and graceful. Your voice is strong, your mind is quick, and your vocabulary is extensive. You pick up on most everything we say now and you correct us if we say things that we shouldn’t (“we don’t say ‘HATE!’”).

You aim to please, but you also want to know why. You are suspicious of strangers, but you are a very loyal friend. You are easy to take most anywhere.

For the record…

  • Favorite Colors: pink AND green [yes, pink snuck its way in...]
  • Favorite Foods: cheesy cheesy macaroni from Trader Joe’s, french fries & ketchup, anything with sprinkles
  • Favorite Books: chapter books (esp. Ramona) and Disney books
  • Favorite Things: wearing fancy dresses, playing with other kids, eating at restaurants, hiking, crafting, doing things you’ve “never done before“
  • Wake-up Time: Approximately 8:00am
  • Bedtime: Approximately 8:30pm
  • Skills: alphabet reciter, color-in-the-liner, super high jumper, fast runner, dextrous climber, able hiker and tricycle rider, book memorizer, expert tongue snapper (you can also spell your name and write several letters)
  • Strengths: willing to try new things, excited about life, enthusiastic about learning, forgiving, happy, smart, opinionated, gently directs friends to do what is right
  • Career Ambition: Doctor or Nurse

age four smiling flower in her hair FourSweet girl. Little Beauty. You are my firstborn, my friend. Four years ago, you turned my world upside-down and brought colors into my life that startled me with their vibrancy.

I can’t tell you how many times I look at you and my heart aches with pride. Just yesterday I told your dad, “She is one awesome kid.” And – seriously – you are.

I love you. I love watching you dazzle the world and fill it with light.

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: , , , ,

Tuesday Tours: What’s Happening on the Web

September 7, 2010 By 21 Comments

j02933381 Tuesday Tours: Whats Happening on the WebWelcome to “Tuesday Tours: What’s Happening on the Web” where I serve as your tour guide and showcase the best contests, freebies, deals, and reads for moms on the web…all in one convenient location.

Contests

Like camping? Enter the Coleman Backyard Escape Sweepstakes for a chance to win $5,000 in cash and Coleman gear. Deadline: Sept. 8.

Also for outdoorsy types – Win a $300 gift card to The North Face over at LilSugar. Deadline: Sept. 13.

Good Reads

Love’s post made a trumpet sound in my heart: [not] done.

I agree with Amy: Back Away from My Cervix. (you’ll have to read it).

Pamela offers advice to entrepreneurs: You are officially granted permission to create a non-perfect first website.

Heather talks money-making: 8 Ways To Increase Your Buck For Your Bang.

Kristen will make you think: To Not Circumcise or To Not Circumcise; There is No Question.

From The Washington Post: Child-abduction study finds capable kids are their own best defense.

Miscellany

I am taken by the design of this Ribbon Falls dress from Shabby Apple’s new Yosemite line.

Kayce Hughes’ aston dress would be adorable with jeans. Or a belt.

I’m looking for a good recipe for no-bake chocolate-oatmeal cookies. Do you have one?

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*** If you have a contest or an announcement that you think might be a good fit for Tuesday Tours, e-mail me at stephanie@metropolitanmama.net.

Filed Under: Tuesday Tours Tagged With: , , , ,

my blog is a business (and I’m proud of that)

September 6, 2010 By 46 Comments

dusty rose coat smiling my blog is a business (and Im proud of that)Fact: I have a small business. I pour hours into it – waking up early, staying up late. I spend money on marketing and development. I strategize. I seek mentors. I have business lunches and virtual conference calls. I pay taxes.

That business? You’re looking at it. Metropolitan Mama.

Every once in awhile, I get the message from other bloggers that if you’re trying to make money or review products or sell advertising or any combination of those activities, then you’re a sell-out. I disagree adamantly.

Business is not a bad word. On the contrary, businesses can be run with integrity. Businesses can do good in the world. Businesses can turn out excellent products. Businesses can be the foundation for strong relationships. And – yes – businesses can help put food on the table.

Just because I am seeking a profit as a blogger does not mean that I sell out my voice or compromise my content. In fact, I protect both things unwaveringly (my husband would say I protect them a little too much sometimes). Example: a notable popsicle brand recently invited me to be a part of a paid campaign. I declined because they have “high fructose corn syrup” in them (an ingredient my family tries to stay away from).

That being said, I eagerly enter into partnerships with brands that coincide with my family’s lifestyle and philosophies. I sell advertising spots and have sponsorship campaign packages (feel free to contact me if you’re interested). I enjoy public speaking, being an ambassador for products I believe in, and attending conferences. I have tens of thousands of readers from all over the United States, Canada, and beyond.

I certainly respect that blogs exist for many different reasons. Some are journals; some are photo-logs. Some are meant for family & friends. Some have tens of readers; some have thousands. Some bloggers don’t want to maintain a business; some do. And all those reasons for blogging are good.

My particular blog exists as a business. I’m in the business of encouraging, inspiring, and challenging mothers. I’m in the business of writing, publishing, and creating relationships. I’m in the business of changing the world in the best way that I know how.

I am *also* bringing in an income for my family…and I’m cool with that. I hope you are too.

Do you blog? If so, do you consider it to be a business or would you like it to be?

If you are an entrepreneur of any kind, what are your favorite books, websites, and/or conferences?

Filed Under: Mom-Owned Business, money management, working mother Tagged With: , , , , , ,

eyeglasses at age three (the story behind her specs)

September 2, 2010 By 42 Comments

3 year old wearing new glasses eyeglasses at age three (the story behind her specs)We noticed her eyes going cross-eyed when she was 2 1/2. It only happened when she was excited…she’d get a new balloon, talk about her cousin Ava, hear that we were going to have noodles for dinner – and her eyes would cross inward.

We weren’t particularly worried, but we took her to our optometrist just after her third birthday as a precaution. She sat through the appointment with flawless behavior, surprising the doctor by knowing the entire alphabet and sitting quite still even when the doctor leaned over to put the dilation drops in. Everything looked great. The doctor explained that she would probably outgrow it, but to keep watching it just in case.

This past year was the same. Still crossing – only when excited. But we sensed that she couldn’t see things as well as we could. “Do you see that airplane?” we’d say. “Can you read the book cover?” we’d ask.

Last week, we took her back for another appointment and this time…the doctor recommended glasses.

new glasses age 3 eyeglasses at age three (the story behind her specs)Here’s what we learned: Almost all children are farsighted (“hyperopia” is the technical term). As children grow, they tend to “outgrow” their farsightedness. Sometimes, however, the eyes needs a little extra “help.” In our daughter’s case, her eye muscles are strong and her eyes are healthy, but she is farsighted with a bit of astigmatism. By having our daughter wear glasses now, it is quite possible that her vision will completely correct itself by the time she enters school.

In a nutshell, the glasses are corrective and will likely be temporary.

3 year old glasses side profile eyeglasses at age three (the story behind her specs)It hasn’t yet been a week, but – so far – she doesn’t seem to mind them too much. She was excited to pick out her own pair (“just like mom!”) and she was insistent that they be pink. She loves the matching case and the soft cloth that she uses to carefully clean the glasses every day (so responsible).

That is the story behind her spectacles. She’s just shy of 4 and she looks even older to me now that she is wearing them. Beautiful. Smart. Sensible. Sweet. I can’t get over how lucky I am to be her mom.

Have you taken your child(ren) to the eye doctor? Do any of your children wear glasses?

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Yes, I AM writing an entire post about Anne of Green Gables

September 1, 2010 By 67 Comments

anne and matthew Yes, I AM writing an entire post about Anne of Green GablesMy almost-4-year-old and I have been watching “Anne of Green Gables” and “Anne of Green Gables: The Sequel” over the past four days – during her little sister’s nap. We sit side-by-side on the brown leather couch, arms linked, smiling.

“This is the best movie ever!” I say, in energetic bursts (and I mean it). She echoes those words. And we hug!

This is like a dream. I have a little girl (two little girls, actually…but one is still too young for movies). And we both love Anne – or “Annie Girl,” as my daughter affectionately calls her.

anne shirley and gilbert blythe Yes, I AM writing an entire post about Anne of Green GablesAs a result of the last few days, I now have a sudden urge to read the entire series again from start-to-finish. Perhaps I’ll even read it aloud to her (the text may be a bit beyond her attention level, I can’t remember…).

If you haven’t read the books or seen the movies, Oh! YOU MUST. You’re missing out on some exceptional literature with the most lovable characters, painted in all of the glory of their imperfections. I especially love that Anne is smart, witty, opinionated, strong, and kind (all qualities I admire immensely…and would love to have my daughters emulate). Similarly, Gilbert is intelligent, generous, honest, and bold (all qualities I hope my girls someday seek in their future husbands).

As we watched, I wondered to myself if perhaps a modern studio/director should attempt a remake. I am undecided. Sullivan Entertainment did an outstanding job, especially with the casting. In many ways, Megan Follows will forever be Anne in my mind. I also appreciated the performances of Jonathan Crombie as Gilbert and Richard Farnsworth as Matthew.

anne and gilbert Yes, I AM writing an entire post about Anne of Green GablesThat said, I think that maybe…just maybe…a modern movie company could get it right. The visual quality certainly could be much improved (since the film was made in the 80s) and I’ve often thought that Diana wasn’t exactly right.

If a company does move ahead with a remake, they must hereby pledge to follow the books as closely as possible and to not go off on unneeded tangents – thus spoiling the wonder and majesty of the story completely (ahem - Anne of Green Gables: The Continuing Story).

Have you read the AOGG books or seen the movies? Which characters do you think were cast perfectly (or not)? Do you think a modern movie studio should attempt a remake?

Filed Under: Miscellany Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,