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Dreamtown, USA

March 26, 2011 By 73 Comments

so nice to have a sister Dreamtown, USASomeday, when we settle down again -

I’d like to live in a city where…

  • home birth is legal
  • homeschooling is alive and well
  • or there are innovative educational models available
  • the library, the park, & the grocer are within a 5-mile radius of my house
  • there is a thriving university or liberal arts college
  • GOOD produce is available – fresh + juicy + organic
  • there are bakeries that actually know how to make scones & shortbread
  • people stop and say hello when you are walking by
  • I have close friends who live next door and down the street
  • extra wide sidewalks weave throughout the town, inviting runners and walkers
  • there are big trees with wide trunks and overhanging branches
  • there are mountains, grand and glorious
  • there are scenic places for Tim to bike
  • and impressive hiking trails nearby
  • the crime rate is low
  • cleanliness is a virtue
  • entrepreneurship is at a high
  • technology is an important part of business life
  • the economy is thriving
  • almost everyone volunteers regularly
  • the houses are minimalist and unique (with front porches)
  • stay-at-home parents are rock stars (not literally)
  • kids are celebrated and welcomed
  • people are bilingual (or multilingual)
  • taxes are low
  • the humidity is minimum
  • the mosquitos don’t bite
  • the winters are mild

I took the free survey at FindYourSpot.com and my top 3 cities are (1) Asheville, NC, (2) Bloomington, IN, and (3) Olympia, WA – in that order. I know it’s probably not super accurate, but now I DO want to visit those cities.

Do you think my dream city exists? If so, where do you think it is? What would YOUR dream town be like?

I am in no way associated with FindYourSpot.com. I just think it’s fun. Fair warning – you do have to provide contact info to get your results. If you take the survey, please share your top 3 cities!

Filed Under: Favorite Posts, Miscellany Tagged With: , , ,

I wish I never took The Pill

February 25, 2011 By 96 Comments

honeymoon dinner cruise1 I wish I never took The PillTwo months before my wedding date in January 2002, I started taking The Pill.

I don’t remember feeling particularly conflicted about it. Most everyone I knew was on it. The OB/GYN at the college health clinic handed me a script without blinking; she probably wrote dozens a day.

The tiny discs of pastel pills promised confidence – 99% “effectiveness.” I took it for four years (said with a whisper).

Looking back, I wish that I…hadn’t.

I didn’t have any scary side effects (not even the weight gain that some friends warned me about). Nor did I have trouble getting pregnant afterward (I got pregnant within a month of stopping). BUT – something inside of me just isn’t okay with messing with the chemistry of my body like that.

[I also don't think the Pill is as safe as people make it out to be].

honeymooning in mazatlan I wish I never took The Pill

I haven’t been on any hormonal birth control since the birth of my first daughter. I don’t ever want to be on it again. We plan to look into Natural Family Planning for in between babies. For now, we use artificial contraception.

But what about when we’re “done”? You know – done, DONE. (Will we ever be “done”? How will we know? Will we want to make it final?) I used to think, “Sure. Tim will go in get the surgery. The end.” Right? It’s so…effective.

But we’re rethinking that. How does one reconcile the beauty of modern medicine with trust in God? Don’t get me wrong – I’m not the kind of person who doesn’t go to the doctor. I think it’s awesome that people can get vaccines and heart transplants and all of that. I’m grateful that women have options now for giving grace to their bodies (I can’t even imagine being pregnant every year for the entirety of my childbearing years).

But I also wonder if birth control has taken something away from us. Hope? Trust? Sacrifice? The beauty of bigger families and saying “yes” to…life.

This post isn’t mean to be an answer. It’s meant to be a question and a discussion starter. Because these issues weigh heavily on my mind (and in my prayers).

What kind of birth control do you use and why?

* Photos are from our 2002 honeymoon cruise.

Filed Under: Babies, Favorite Posts Tagged With: , , ,

today is PERFECT

January 16, 2011 By 25 Comments

secret conversation between sisters today is PERFECT

I was going to wait until I wrote the PERFECT post to publish this photo.

It’s my favorite from our recent family photo shoot.

Our girls were standing on a sloped hill of dried winter leaves. I was a little worried that our youngest might fall. But then our 4-year-old said, “If she falls, I will catch her and save her.” (And I believed her).

dancing in the leaves today is PERFECT overjoyed in the leaves today is PERFECT

Do you ever find yourself waiting for things to be “perfect” before you take action?

I’m learning to let go of that.

  • I may not be able to go on a 3-mile run today, but I CAN go on a walk before dinner.
  • I may not be able to give a hundred dollars to a cause I care about, but I CAN give ten dollars.
  • I may not be able to read all 25 books that are sitting in my to-read pile, but I CAN read a chapter in one of them.
  • I may not be able to buy my friend a $100 pair of jeans, but I CAN buy her a $5 Starbucks card.

Today IS the perfect day to do what I’ve been wanting to do. (And today is your perfect day too).

Filed Under: Favorite Posts, Philanthropy Tagged With: ,

this is the way I talk about God

November 23, 2010 By 29 Comments

walking in the arizona sunshine this is the way I talk about GodI cringe inside when I hear the word “witnessing.”

Not because I’m afraid.

Not because I’m ashamed.

Because the word fills my mind with pictures of things I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be the extreme Right – thumping my Bible, asking people where they would go tonight if they died, and saying “Bless you” every other word. I don’t want to be roped in with hard-nosed talk show hosts, harsh disciplinarians, people with protest signs, and door-to-door salesman.

[I'm not saying those things are necessarily "BAD," mind you - I'm just sharing my heart].

I want to bear witness to LOVE – His love. I want to show mercy, to extend grace, to advocate for the poor, and to care for orphans and widows in their distress. In the midst of that light, I hope that His presence radiates.

thankful for this little girl this is the way I talk about GodHe isn’t [part of] my life. He IS life. As I wipe messy faces, rock crying babies, kiss rosy cheeks, listen to friends, and run on the sidewalk…he is THERE. In every nook and corner of my heart. In the ups-and-downs, the tears and triumphs, and the oops-I’m-sorrys.

I’m just an ordinary girl. I love my husband. I adore my kids. I sing “Say Hey (I Love You)” by Michael Franti when I give the girls a bath at night. I eat granola and yogurt for breakfast. I read The New York Times, the Huffington Post, and the Bible. I’m not sure how I feel about the current model of church in America. I wear blue jeans and mascara. I drink wine with dinner. I babywear and cosleep and try not to litter. I don’t have a single bumper sticker on my car.

And yet…yet…I also know that there is power in His name. Jesus. He saves. He is hope.

everything else is a blur this is the way I talk about GodI don’t wear a WWJD bracelet. I don’t leave tracts on coffee tables. I don’t watch TBN (In fact, I avoid it because it can drive me crazy). I don’t forward e-mails to protest gay rights (I don’t forward e-mails at all). I haven’t led someone in the “Sinner’s Prayer” in God-knows-how-long.

But I DO think that I am actively striving to point people to Christ. With my life (and with my words too…they’re just not the words typically associated with “evangelism”).

{I’m still figuring all of this out}

What are the first words that come to mind when you hear the word “Jesus”? What about “Christian”? Or “Witnessing”? How do you share God with the people in your life?

Filed Under: Favorite Posts, Miscellany Tagged With: , ,

Wednesday Whimsies

October 27, 2010 By 21 Comments

fashionable 1 year old Wednesday Whimsies

On this Wondrous Wednesday, I hereby present you with a list of my whimsies. These are things I would like to do someday – maybe I will, maybe I won’t.

I’m sure there are many more that I am missing, but these are the first ones that pop into my head.

Someday, I want to:

  • run in a 1/2 marathon (preferably one at Disneyland).
  • be semi-fluent in a second language.
  • custom-build a [small] house with a true front porch.
  • have a home birth – in a tub.
  • get my PhD.
  • practice singing one song really well so I am prepared for karaoke.
  • master playing three songs on the guitar.
  • take a photography class.
  • travel abroad with my kids.
  • live in the heart of a city, in a condo.
  • highlight my hair…blonde.
  • pink fifel hat Wednesday Whimsiesbe a millionaire.
  • actually know what I’m talking about when the topic of “wine” comes up.
  • adopt a child.
  • or be a foster parent.
  • invent something.
  • meet Sarah.
  • live right-next-door to good friends.
  • be published in The New York Times.
  • travel around the country in an RV with the intent purpose of helping others.

Oh, wait – that last one is coming true.

* This post was inspired by Steph (if you don’t know her, you should).

What are a few of your “whimsies”?

ALSO – What is your favorite song for karaoke?

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On having friends and having opinions

May 31, 2010 By 43 Comments
  • Some of our best friends spank their kids (and they’re wonderful parents, by the way). But we choose not to.
  • Some of our friends have little girls that know all of the Disney Princesses by name. But our girls don’t.
  • Some of our friends watch “The Office.” But we can’t stand it.
  • Some of our friends had their babies in hospitals with all kinds of gizmos and gadgets and machines. But we didn’t.
  • Some of our friends prefer to carry around their babies in infant car seats. We prefer to take our babies out and put them in carriers (those car seats are heavy!).

carrying baby in boba carrier On having friends and having opinionsThe point is that we have a lot of friends – and we have a lot of opinions. Opinions are good (very good). And everyone has them (even the people who don’t share their opinions or who say “everyone should just do what’s best for their family and keep their thoughts to themselves…” – oh, boy, do they ever have opinions!).

It’s easy to be intimidated by Opinions. I state a lot of them here on my blog. I state them because Tim & I think about a lot of things…we read a lot of books, we have a lot of conversations, and we have very intentional reasons for almost everything we do.

baby waving in colorful dress On having friends and having opinionsSometimes I notice people shy away from conversations with me for fear of causing waves. Or they may think, “She’s just so different from me…with her natural-birthing, breastfeeding, only-watching-1-hour-of-TV-per-WEEK, [insert your-topic-of-choice], ways.”

BUT please know: I want to hear your opinions too. I want to hear your reasons and your point-of-view. I want to hear your questions…and your answers. So we can argue and contemplate and sharpen each other. So we can: GROW.

So State Your Opinion, please.

And know that we can still be friends. We can have lively discussions. We can laugh and share hobbies and go on family camping trips. We can pray for each other, encourage each other, enlighten each other, embolden each other, believe in each other. Yes. We can.

That is my opinion.

Do you share your thoughts and opinions freely with people in your circle? Why or why not?

Filed Under: Blogging & Social Media, Favorite Posts Tagged With: , , , , ,

How Social Media Has Made Me A Better Mother

April 5, 2010 By 30 Comments

“She is always blogging and twittering and doing social media stuff – I wonder what her kids are doing when she’s doing all of that.”

Have you ever thought that about a mom who blogs? You might get this picture in your head of a mom who is typing away at her computer all day, while she shoos and shushes away her kids to the television.

But that is a far cry from my life…and from the life of many bloggers.

preschooler on my shoulders How Social Media Has Made Me A Better MotherThe truth is that…

MOST of my day is spent playing in the sandbox, making crafts, baking cookies, pretending to sing into a spoon microphone, dancing in the kitchen, and reading illustrated books with character voices.

MOST of the time, I am holding a baby, playing hide-and-seek, and having picnics.

MOST days, we don’t watch any television at all.

The truth is that I blog in the in-between moments. I stay up really, really, REALLY late (too late probably…er…early). I sometimes check my my e-mail and tweet in quiet moments when both girls are playing happily together or when my baby is napping. I write when Tim is here…or when my mother-in-law comes over to spend time with the girls.

I’m not saying I have it all figured out (I don’t). It’s hard to balance everything. I am constantly torn.

baby on my shoulders How Social Media Has Made Me A Better MotherI want to be active, present, and engaged with my girls – listening to their beautiful hearts, being taught by their infinite wisdom. I want to be silly and selfless.

But…I also want to be engaged in the local and global community. I want to write, wielding my words for good. I want to contribute to our family financially. I want my girls to see my ambition, my business savvy, my intellect – because I want them to be strong and skilled too.

I often tell my 3-year-old that I stay up extra late after she goes to bed because I want to change the world.

Are there some blogging moms out there who are on their computers all day long…so distracted by social media that they fail to meet their children’s deepest needs? Yes. But there are also moms who watch mindless television or scrub their houses obsessively or whittle their time away at the mall…that miss the hearts of the children. Technology is certainly not the culprit.

me and my girls How Social Media Has Made Me A Better MotherIn our case, blogging has been a wonderful thing for my family, for my kids:

  • I take more pictures.
  • I prioritize my time more wisely.
  • I’ve learned to say no to a lot of things that don’t matter and to say yes to my family.
  • I feel more accountable because of my large audience so I spend more time working on my character and my heart.

Now that I think about it, the title of this post isn’t quite right. Social media hasn’t made me a better mother. That’s too passive. What I really mean is that I have intentionally used social media as a tool to improve my life, my family, and my community. There. That’s better.

WHAT ABOUT YOU? How has blogging, reading blogs, and/or using twitter/facebook improved your life?

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