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How to Help A Friend…Who Has the Flu

November 27, 2010 By 18 Comments

What do you do when a friend posts on Facebook that she has the flu? Or perhaps you hear through the grapevine that your neighbor has the stomach bug?

Since a 24-hour virus of some kind just passed through our house, I thought I’d take a moment to record what kind of items would be helpful to include in a simple care package.

knock knock How to Help A Friend...Who Has the FluTry…

  • a box of Saltines
  • a bottle of Sprite
  • a pair of cozy slippers
  • a cup of hot chicken noodle soup
  • a set of new pajamas
  • a DVD – preferably a light comedy or family film
  • a bottle of chewable Vitamin C
  • a meal for the rest of the family

Choose a few of the items listed above and put them in a basket or gift bag. If you are low on time or money, choose just one item and tie a simple “get well” note on it.

Since you want to stay well yourself (and your friend probably isn’t looking or feeling her finest), there’s no need to stop and chat. In fact, I recommend that you send a text or voicemail that simply says “Hi, Friend! I left something on your doorstep!”

What do you do when a friend is sick? What other items would you suggest for a “get well” care package?

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Last Night in Our House

November 9, 2010 By 41 Comments

family in packing boxes Last Night in Our HouseLast night was our last night in our house.

After running errands and packing, we sat down (on our floor) to homemade pork chop, brussels sprout, green beans, and cookies – courtesy of Becca (thank you, friend – it was the most timely of gifts!).

We bathed and showered the girls, put on PJs, brushed teeth, read books…just like we have for the past four years.

Tim stayed up late boxing things up and making trips in a borrowed truck to various places. I fell asleep early (right beside my girls).

Now, it it dark and the house is quiet. I am sitting here typing at a card table, perched on a 3-legged camp chair. I’m feeling surprisingly nostalgic – looking around at my empty home, scattered belongings on the floor. This is where I rocked my babies, nursed them, stayed up through the night when they were sick, watched my toddler run across the great room, made love to my husband, and danced in the kitchen to make my girls laugh at the breakfast table.

I catch my breath (barely breathing). This isn’t a dream.

I’ve never prayed more.

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thoughts (and regrets) as we leave our neighborhood

November 7, 2010 By 24 Comments

house in neighborhood thoughts (and regrets) as we leave our neighborhoodYesterday, I was thinking about our neighborhood – the community here, the culture that has developed, the things we’ve appreciated, the things we desire, and the things we would have done differently.

We know a lot of our neighbors. We’re not the garage-up, garage-down kind of people. We spend a lot of time in our front yard. We walk through the streets every day, especially in the early evenings before or after dinner.

Even so, I wish we would have been even more intentional about forming relationships from day one. I would have hosted a meet-and-greet at our house or at a park when we moved in. I would have invited a few moms over for scones and strawberries. I would have said, “Come on in!” when people stopped by to chat.

snowcones from the ice cream truck thoughts (and regrets) as we leave our neighborhoodIt’s funny how we often overlook the people who live the closest to us. We tend to make friends at church, at work, at school…and we’re always driving places. Here. There. Everywhere.

And yet, how cool would it be if we were strongly interconnected with the people right next door and down our street? Imagine the beauty of that scenario.

Recently, we had a big group of people (+ kids) in front of our house. A neighbor pulled his car over and said admiringly, “you guys are always in your driveway!” When he said that, I smiled and realized it’s true.

rainbow snow cone thoughts (and regrets) as we leave our neighborhoodEven so, I feel like I could have done so much more. I could have been better.

Next time around, I will BE a friend right from the get-go. I will say, “Would you like to come over for dinner on Tuesday?” instead of just smiling shyly at the other family on their evening walk with a stroller and dog. I will drop by a loaf of bread when the woman five houses down has a baby. I will write down names so that I will remember them. If I forget to do that (or if I lose the paper I wrote the names down on), I will ask a second time (or third time) without being embarrassed.

That is my pledge.

Do you know your neighbors? Are you friends with your neighbors? How have you created a culture of friendship and trust on your street?

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Whose story is it?

October 26, 2010 By

dining room table less Whose story is it?Our dining room table is gone now. Tim sold it to a couple off Craigslist. When I came home from lunch with the girls, the house looked so empty. “Did you take a picture of it, by chance?” I asked him, wistfully.

I haven’t written much about the process of selling our things because I almost don’t know how to write about the magnitude of it. It’s so much more than, “we sold our couch” or “we gave away a bag of clothes.” Only recently has it begun to really sink in that we are letting go of EVERYTHING (except what we can fit in our RV).

It’s as if I’ve been writing a story, typing away on my laptop every day for years, laboring to make each word exactly right. With each thing we let go, I erase a word – Lamps, Books, Fondue Pot, Pictures on the Wall, Fancy Health Insurance, Bathtub, Craft Closet, Direct-Deposit Paychecks, Big-Screen TV, Roth IRAs, Circle of Friends, Washer-and-Dryer, etc. Pretty soon, the document is blank – the story that *I* worked so hard to write is gone. I panic a little, fingers trembling, tears stinging my eyes.

Suddenly, His voice calms my scattered heart, “Will you let me write the story?”

eating without a dining room table Whose story is it?Four months ago, I never would have guessed that we would be here now. Selling everything we own to travel the country to give to others (and to learn from others).

But here we are, saying “yes” to a brand new story.

I suspect that it will exceed our wildest expectations.

* Comments are closed.

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4 things to do INSTEAD of saying, “Can I do anything to help?”

September 11, 2010 By 34 Comments

the rain came down 4 things to do INSTEAD of saying, Can I do anything to help?What do you do when a friend is in a tough spot? (Miscarriage. Morning Sickness. Military deployment. Lost job. Recovering from new baby. Death in the family. Bad day. Etc.)

If you are like most people, you will call up or send a text or write on his/her facebook wall, “Let me know if I can do anything to help.”

If you’re a little more action-oriented, you’ll say, “Can I do anything to help?”

Your friend replies, “Will do” or “I’ll let you know.” But then – they DON’T. Because it’s tough to ask for specific help when you’re hurting, in part because you don’t even know what to ask for.

Someone once said to me, “If you ever find yourself in a situation where you don’t know what to do to help someone, do SOMETHING.” I’ve been trying to get better about this.

Here are four fail-safe ways to bring some sunshine to a friend’s rainy spirits -

monotone fork spoon eat launch restaurant dinner 4 things to do INSTEAD of saying, Can I do anything to help?1. Deliver a meal. I am convinced that food is a relationship-builder and a wound-healer. How many illnesses and frustrations have been cured by a happy dinner table or a delicious dessert? Many. Drop by with a tray of chicken enchiladas, a pot of spaghetti and some bread sticks, or a hearty vegetable lasagna. If you don’t have the time to make from scratch, there’s no shame at all in ordering take-out or stopping in at a meal prep place. If you don’t have the budget to do a whole meal, bring 1 simple dish (pasta salad, a basket of fruit, or a loaf of bread).

envelope sketch 4 things to do INSTEAD of saying, Can I do anything to help?2. Write a note. Pick up a funny, sentimental, musical, or giant card (Have you seen those? So cool!) at Hallmark. Or make one yourself. Not sure what to say? How about “I’m thinking of you,” paired with a genuine compliment or a warm wish. You don’t have to be poetic. Just put a stamp on it and send your heart.

Comments 4 things to do INSTEAD of saying, Can I do anything to help?3. Just say it. Speaking of compliments, never underestimate the power of words. I know I’ve had entire days ruined by mean words. On the flip side, I’ve had entire days brightened by a single sentence. Mother Teresa’s quote is truer than true, ”kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

box3 4 things to do INSTEAD of saying, Can I do anything to help?4. Give a [small] gift. No need to spend a lot of money. Even the tiniest thing will show you care. A box of homemade cookies. A chocolate bar. A packet of seeds. A necklace charm. A bunch of wild flowers. A pair of slippers. A stationary set. A hardbound journal. Anything will do.

On a related note: I’ve been working on a rockin’ gift guide over at Give Every Day. It’s not even close to being done yet, but you’re welcome to take a peek. The ideas are all unique and often handmade. You can search by recipient or occasion. Let me know what you think…

What do you do when a friend is in a tough spot? What meals do you think are the easiest to make and/or deliver?

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Kids Matter (my kids, your kids, ALL kids)

June 30, 2010 By 13 Comments

baby eating licorice Kids Matter (my kids, your kids, ALL kids)Yesterday I asked my 15-month-old, “Are you a baby?”

She waved her head resolutely from side-to-side. A decided “no.”

——————————————————-

Then I looked at her – and SAW (again, for the millionth time) a little person. So smart. So affectionate. So creative. With so many opinions + intentions already.

In our society, we too often hush the minds and spirits of small children. We treat them as less important because they are little, because they don’t have money or means or majesty.

The truth, though, is that kids are wise in uncertain times, brave in difficult times, and kind in unkind situations. Kids feel things deeply, they often see things more clearly than the adults around them, and they think about things intensely. When given the words and the wings, kids can do incredible things. They can write books, engage in politics, defend their families, help the needy, start businesses, etc.

And I’m not just talking about when they’re 30 [see examples of amazing kids here and here].

As I have conversations with my girls in the coming years, I hope that they will HEAR, loud and clear, that they can do anything. I hope that they will resist the message from the media and pop culture that kids are too young to be capable. I pray that they will have the strength and the confidence to do big things. For good. For God.

hair in her eyes bw Kids Matter (my kids, your kids, ALL kids)To BOTH of my girls –  If you read this someday (whether you’re 6 or 16 or 26), know this: I believe in you. Always have. Always will. You are smart enough, strong enough, and savvy enough to change the world – starting today.

(And I’m not just saying that because I’m your mom).

* This post was inspired, in part, by Too Small To Ignore by Wess Stafford (one of my favorite books and most certainly the best book I read last year).

Do you think our society underestimates children? What do you do to counteract that message? Also – have you read Wess Stafford’s book?

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something is stirring

May 21, 2010 By 24 Comments

When May arrives, we eat popsicles – every day.

sisters eating popsicles in the backyard something is stirring eating popsicles in may something is stirring holding out a popsicle something is stirring

The heat settles over the grass and lingers. The pavement is scorching to our bare toes. Our cheeks are rosy. Our lips are chapped. The local news station tweeted that we may reach 100 degrees on Friday.

This is the time of year when we always talk about moving. We thirst for a cool breeze, a cloudy sky.

But this year…that restlessness seems more intense. This year, it’s something beyond the weather. Deep. Stirring. Something.

We contemplate new ways of serving, of giving, of BE-ing. We look behind us – and squint ahead of us.

More than a quarter of our lives are behind us already – perhaps more. How will we spend these next years? How can we make them matter most? These are the questions Tim & I talk about, as we stroll together every evening in the golden glow of the Arizona sunset.

What are summers like where you live? Do you eat popsicles (and, if so, do you have a good recipe?)? What dreams are rumbling in your heart?

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